Fade To Black
by PurdyBaby
Summary: With a broken heart Kagome made a wish on the jewel after the final battle with Naraku but everyone knows the jewel never grants your real wish.
1. Prologue

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**Prologue**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Is it…is it over?" Kagome asked as she shakily got to her feet before one leg went out and she crumpled to the ground. No one answered and it was then, and only then, that the miko realized something was wrong. While true that she hadn't seen Sango for quite some time and Miroku either, that...that didn't mean anything. They might have just gotten separated. Shippo was probably with them too. That had to be it. Maybe they just couldn't hear her? The main question really was where _he_ went. Inuyasha, of course, had always been nearby until the very end but….but he hadn't answered either.

"Inuyasha? Where are you?" she called out and a distant gurgle had her blood turning to ice in her veins. Suddenly, her injured leg meant nothing and she found herself stumbling towards the sound until her heart stopped beating. There he lay with the jewel clasped in his bloodied palm – his head lolled in her direction with a strange bittersweet smile playing on his crimson stained lips. How long Kagome had held her hand to the gaping hole in his stomach she wasn't sure, but no matter the pressure she applied the blood had still gushed between her fingers and oozed under her hand. Time itself had become irrelevant as the moments she spent pleading with him to look at her, to stay with her, feeling the very fluid of his life drain away over her cold hands, felt like nothing at all. Seconds could have been hours, or hours mere seconds. Those amber eyes had conveyed his silent apology and something else she couldn't really read in the moment before the light behind them went out. Just like that he was gone to a place she couldn't follow.

Numbly getting to her feet, she began the painful task of finding the others. One by one by one she found them. Each new body another knife in her heart. How did she miss this? What on earth had she been doing? How could she have failed them so throughly? A strangled sob escaped her as she found little Shippo and she sank to her knees willing her own heart to give out.

There had to be something she could do. Some way to atone for failing them so throughly. Sniffling miserably, she turned red tinged eyes back towards Inuyasha's limp body and looked down at the jewel still clasped in his fist.

Forcing herself onto her knees, it took all of the strength she possessed to make her feet move forward and to pry the jewel out of his stiff fingers.

Swaying as she stood up, she took a steadying breath as she met Inuyasha's unseeing gaze before sniffing once and making her wish.

_'__I wish that everyone who died because of Naraku would come back to life_,' she prayed silently and she felt a warmth in her palm. Tensing, she waited and waited and waited before finally a strange ethereal male voice spoke.

'_What will you sacrifice in return?_' the voice asked calmly and Kagome let out a manic sounding laugh that was cut short when it continued, '_All magic comes with a price. What is the price that you will pay?'_

'_What do I need to do?' _Kagome replied desperately after a moment, '_Do you need my life for theirs? I'll do anything. Just bring them __back__.'_

'_The memory of you,_' the jewel answered in that same maddeningly calm tone, '_No one brought back will know your name. No one brought back will ever know you even existed. This is the price you must pay. To be forever forgotten and replaced by another.'_

Kagome swallowed thickly but nodded once before the world around her vanished in a brilliant white light.


	2. The Return

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**Fade to Black**

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A year passed by and then another. With each new moon, Kagome felt her heart break a little more and slowly but surely, she succumbed to depression. In the back of her mind, she hoped the jewel had followed through with its part of the bargain. That all of her friends were happy and had moved on with their lives. It wasn't until she walked across the stage and had her diploma in hand that she mustered up the courage to determine for herself that everyone was happier without her in their lives. That everyone had managed to move on to bigger and better things. Undoubtedly Inuyasha had married Kikyo by this point. Sango and Miroku probably had many children. Everyone….

Looking down into the well, a cold chill ran down her spine as she realized that the relationships that had been forged during the question had most likely never begun without her there and even if by some miracle they had, the dynamic would undoubtedly be different. Would that be better for her friends, she wondered. Would that mean that Sango's village had been spared and Miroku would be wind-tunnel free? Or had her presence during the quest merely been replaced by memories of Kikyo? Did the jewel change everything from the moment Naraku perished or had it gone back further before a time Naraku existed? If that was the case, it could very well mean that Inuyasha was older now and that Kikyo was older than Kaede had been. Maybe even _dead_.

What had she done?

Panicking then, she quickly rushed to the shrine's storeroom and began yanking kimono after kimono off the dusty rack. She needed a way to fit in if she went back. A way to check that everyone survived and all was well. Her wish had been foolish. Too vague. Selfish even. All she cared about was that everyone was brought back but that didn't mean everything would be the same. It could be worse. It could be better. Shippo especially…

Oh god, _Shippo_. His father wouldn't've been brought back by the jewel. If that was the case, was he alone or worse had he too been killed?

Damn near yanking on a blue kimono and the other pieces that came with it, Kagome's heart pounded as she rushed towards the well and jumped in without a second thought. She needed to make sure everyone was alright. She needed this not just for herself and her ability to move on with her life but for them as well.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"My friend, you cannot hide from her all day," a young monk laughed softly as he looked up at a sulking half-demon in the branches of the Sacred Tree, "You know as well as I do that she has little patience."

"Yeah well I can and I will," Inuyasha clipped back as he settled down further into the sturdy tree limb, "She's getting on my last nerve."

"Perhaps you should just address your concerns with her directly," Miroku sighed as he moved to sit down against the rough tree bark, "You never do speak up for yourself where she was involved."

"I do too," Inuyasha protested as he rolled off the brace and gracefully landed in front of the monk who gave him a skeptical, knowing look, "I'm the man in this relationship. I make the decisions dammit."

"_Do _you though?" Miroku teased, "From my observations, since Lady Kikyo joined us, she has done nothing except hold your leash."

"I am not a fucking dog!" Inuyasha snapped angrily as he bared his fangs to try to intimidate the monk. It didn't work but it was worth a try.

"And there is more passion and anger than I have ever seen directed at her," Miroku laughed softly as he gave his friend a knowing look, "I understand that you two shared a special connection in the past but that was then and this is now. From my limited observations, it appears you have both grown since that time and now…."

"I can't go back on my promise," Inuyasha huffed as he ran his claws through his hair, "You don't get it. I didn't have nothing before I met you guys. And I swore to marry her. I did. Give me _some_ credit. I do have honor. Thats the _only_ thing I have to my name."

"So you would marry her merely to ensure your honor stays intact? How sad to marry someone whom you do not love," Miroku sighed and Inuyasha gave him a withering glare.

"Yeah well people do it all the time," Inuyasha clipped back, "That's just how it is. Besides no one else is ever gunna marry me so why the hell not?"

"If that is true, and you fully intend on marry Lady Kikyo, then why, pray tell, have you not done so already? It has been two years since she joined us and yet you have not even begun the process of building her a hut," Miroku asked innocently. Inuyasha scowled.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed we've been _busy_," the ha you scoffed, "It's not just exorcisms anymore. There's something bigger out there. He's got a pattern and we've got to stop him."

"Must we?" Miroku laughed and Inuyasha shrugged and sniffed once.

"Who else is gunna do it?"

"I believe you are delaying for more reasons than this unnamed assailant," Miroku hummed, "Lady Kaede has let it slip Lady Kikyo intends to purify and turn you human. Which I imagine wouldn't bother you quite as much were it not for Shippo."

Inuyasha blushed before sighing heavily.

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Inuyasha finally asked with a frustrated groan, "I can't leave him orphaned _again_. I know how much that sucks and I would never want it to be said about me that I was an orphan who abandoned another orphan."

"Children often outlive their parents," Miroku pointed out and Inuyasha huffed.

"I ain't his father," Inuyasha clipped back, "He's just my ward. Like how Sesshomaru has Rin. It's a thing."

"Is it now?" Miroku hummed, "And yet your concern is the same as that of any parent, you want to ensure he is well cared for after your passing."

"Yeah well, he's about fifty now so he'll be what? Around ten in human years, if that, when my human life ends if I'm lucky?" Inuyasha snorted, "Or better yet whatever Kikyo wants to do will just kill me and he can be alone now."

"It is true that if her proposal is successful and you became human you would die centuries before him," Miroku stated more than asked and Inuyasha nodded, "But are you confident that Kikyo has no interest in..."

"If I had to spend a demon's lifespan with her, she'd annoy me to death," Inuyasha muttered under his breath, "That rod is so far up her ass it makes it hard for her to turn her head. I haven't even _bothered_ asking."

"This sounds like the beginnings of a miserable life," Miroku chuckled sadly, "I will pray for you my friend. You most certainly need it."

"Shut up," Inuyasha sighed as he rolled his eyes, "Don't you have an ass to grab or something?"

"Alas Sango is visiting her village and therefore, no. I am quite committed and quite happy to be so," Miroku hummed happily, "For you see I have married for love whereas..."

Miroku really deserved that blow to the head. He was pretty much asking for it.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Climbing up the well was considerably harder in a kimono as it turned out. By the time she managed to get up the garment was pretty much ruined and her hair was a rats nest. With a flushed, sweaty face, Kagome took a moment to catch her breath before a somewhat familiar voice and the sound of a bow been pulled back caught her attention.

"Who are ye?" a young woman hissed and Kagome's eyes widened in shock as she looked upon Kaede. In her youth, she still had the eye patch but her face was more reminiscent of Kagome's mother which was strange. Or maybe not. Maybe the same souls always got thrown together over and over again. Kagome's lips twitched upwards as she straightened up and had to fight back the desire to mouth the next words.

"Be quick girl lest ye be a half-wit," The young girl barely older than thirteen or fourteen hissed as she nocked her bow and glared. Ah, the feeling of nostalgia was almost tangible. At least she wasn't tied up this time.

"Merely a traveler," Kagome replied a little more nervously than she would have liked, "Seeking a place for the night before I move on."

Kaede seemed to appraise the newcomer's appearance before whistling at a volume that would've impressed even the most obnoxious New Yorker. Cringing at the sound, it wasn't until she felt a sickeningly familiar aura coming closer and closer that she realized who that whistle was supposed to alert.

"This better not be..." came Inuyasha's exasperated voice as he slid to a stop in the clearing before he saw her. Blinking once then twice, his nose twitched madly and he cocked his head to the side as he stared at her.

"Well I'll be damned," he muttered more to himself than her, "She's not a demon Kaede. Lower your bow."

"Inuyasha, she may be..."

"Its fine Kaede. You always get worked up over nothing. Just calm down. Breathe. It's okay," Inuyasha replied quietly, dare she say _affectionately_, as he continued to stare at Kagome curiously, "Have we met before?"

"I'm going to get sister," Kaede whispered and Inuyasha rolled his eyes before watching her beeline towards the village.

"I swear..." he muttered under his breath as he held back a bemused grin before he casually turned his attention back towards Kagome, "You might not be a demon but I know your scent. Have we met before?"

Kagome was struggling not to cry from sheer joy. The image of his broken body mercifully fading as she drank in the sight of him. Her wish had worked. It had worked and that was worth _everything_.

"I don't think so," she replied breathlessly as she gave him a teary smile. He was still so perfect. Strong and lean and snarky and...

"You're lying," he chuckled as a wry smile played on his lips before he added, "We've met at some point or another."

"Maybe in passing," she tried and his smile widened as he shook his head. How could she forget he could smell everything? This plan to make sure everyone was okay was going to be short lived at best. She might as well head back now. After all, if Inuyasha was alive, that meant the others must be too, huh? Welp there ya go. Open and shut case of the jewel doing what she asked it to do.

"Nah, it was more than that," he whispered more to himself than to her as his amber eyes gave her a once over and he bit his lip for a moment before shrugging, "S'not important. Who are you? Why are you here? Where are you going? What do you do for a living? Why do you enjoy scaring little girls?"

Kagome snorted at the last question and without thinking began to argue.

"Hey! I didn't mean to scare her and she's the one that pulled the bow on me anyway," Kagome protested but the glint in his eyes told her he was joking. Which was odd. If he didn't remember her, why was he comfortable around her already? If he kept this up, she'd seriously begin to question whether he was just pulling her chain.

"I know. Kaede can be..." he sighed as he looked towards the village, "Well she's a little odd. Anyway, you didn't answer my other questions."

Kagome nodded as her mind scrambled to come up with answers to any of that. Why hadn't she prepared in advance? That seemed like the smart thing to do but she had never been one for planning. Every time she planned to do something, she'd get there and all hell would break out. That had literally been a daily occurrence during their quest not too long ago.

"I ain't got all day. You've got the count of three before I kill you. One. _Two_..." he drug out the number before smirking when she began blurting out half-assed answers.

"Eri," Kagome lied as his mind scrambled and she began ticking down the questions by counting on her fingers, "Mt. Hakurei. I'm a miko. I did not scare her. She scared me."

That name and that place for whatever reason were the first rational ones she could come up with on the spot. The glint in his eyes and the way he flexed his claws so she could see, however, reminded her of something very important.

He could always smell when she was lying.

"Again with the lies," he chuckled darkly as he narrowed his eyes before he sighed and cocked his head curiously, "All but the last two. So you're a miko and you were scared of a _child_. Good to know."

Again his eyes twinkled playfully while Kagome's heart nearly beat out of her chest and the cogs turned in his mind. If she didn't know better, she'd almost swear he was flirting with her in a backwards ass way? But that couldn't be right. He didn't know her. Or shouldn't anyway. Besides wasn't he _taken_?

"Calm down woman," he finally sighed as he rolled his eyes and gave her a slightly hurt look, "Listen I get you don't want to give details to a demon. I get it. But I ain't gunna..."

Stopping suddenly, his ears swivled and his face turned towards the village. Shortly thereafter, Kikyo appeared followed by a very anxious looking Kaede.

"Inuyasha," Kikyo greeted with a warm smile that faded when she laid eyes on Kagome, "Who is this?"

Was she imagining things or did he actually seem _annoyed_ that his wife or girlfriend or whatever the hell Kikyo was to him now showed up? No, that was her imagination and false hope talking surely. He was always so in love with her.

"Traveler," Inuyasha replied in a bored tone as he turned to leave, "She checks all the boxes but if you gotta question her, go ahead. I'm going back."

The once undead miko gave her (_probably_) husband a sour look that quite clearly said she didn't believe he had done any investigating at all before turning back towards the newcomer with a strange look.

"I apologize for his strange manner," Kikyo sighed almost apologetically, "He often uses strange phrases but he has lived a strange life. Pay him no mind."

A part of Kagome felt quite smug that, despite not remembering her, he remembered at least some of what she taught him. Maybe he even asked about ramen. Would not shock her in the least.

"He's fine," Kagome hummed happily as she watched him disappear into the distance. A soft, relived smile gracing her pictures. That was worth it. That was enough. He was fine, not because what he'd said made perfect sense to her, but because he was alive. Alive and well and...

"What is your name traveler?" Kikyo asked in a sweeter tone than Kagome had ever heard before.

And with Kikyo. Who was apparently the deciding vote as to whether she was threat or not. Her smile faltered as her bruised heart throbbed.

Figures.

Still, she knew what she was doing when she made the wish and as long as he was alive, that was fine. More than fine. Great. Amazing even. He could be with Kikyo. That wasn't a problem. Because he was alive. That's what mattered. Not that he was with Kikyo and not her. He had a _pulse_. Who the hell cared who he shared his bed with as long as he woke up in the morning?! Not her. Nope. She didn't care. She _shouldn't_ care. Right?

Cringing as she did mental gymnastics to keep her heart from breaking, she nearly forgot the question she was asked and she wrinkled her nose. Whatever the jewel had done she didn't want to accidentally undo and Inuyasha had already figured out that she was lying about her name. And no one here, not even him, had ever called her by her last name so...eh, screw it.

"Higuarashi," Kagome replied after an awkwardly long moment as Kikyo gave her a slightly suspicious look before nodding once.

"Curious name," she opined - seeming to believe her although still obviously skeptical before following up with, "And your profession?"

"Miko," Kagome replied without hesitation and damn it all if Kikyo seemed to expect that answer. Which struck her as strange but maybe she could feel her aura or something.

"And how were you trained?"

"By fire," Kagome joked weakly before amending when Kikyo merely looked confused and even more skeptical, "What I mean is that I wasn't formally trained. I kinda just learned as I went."

"As you went?" Kikyo asked as she gave the young woman a skeptical once over, "Have you seen much of battle then?"

"Unfortunately. As is often the case in times such as these," Kagome replied honestly – quoting something a much older Kaede had once told her, "Anymore, I travel on my own wherever my services are needed."

"Where are your services needed that has warranted your journey here?" the formerly undead miko asked with no accusation or malice but obviously guarded.

"A village near, uh, a fishing village in the South is in need of an additional healer," Kagome answered seamlessly. Well, almost. Kikyo seemed to take this in with a soft hum as those once cold chocolate eyes searched her reincarnation's face. Finally, after a long tense moment, she nodded to herself.

"Have you encountered any villages recently that were victims of an attack?" Kikyo asked suddenly and Kagome startled slightly at the question, "Specifically, those killed by a clean incision. Just over the eye."

"No," she replied shakily as something in the back of her mind crooned that was her fault. How she wasn't sure but that was the first time she'd heard of a demon doing _that_, "Is that something I should be concerned about during my travels?"

"That is the question," Kikyo sighed before giving her an apologetic smile, "It has only been in recent months that such a thing has occurred. The victims seem to be targeted at random. Human. Demon. Peasants. Lords. There is no pattern. Unfortunately, then, I would dare say yes. You should be on your guard. We have a few exterminators in our village who would be happy to escort you if you wish."

"Why did you ask me about that? The attacks I mean," Kagome finally asked in a confused tone, "Inuyasha said…"

Something flashed in the – up until now – friendly miko's eyes as her jawline tensed.

"I again apologize for his turn of phrase. It's understandable that you are confused. He often says things that have no meaning. For many years, he was on his own and there are times when he..." Kikyo replied and for the first time a little bitterness was in her voice before she seemed to realize herself and she trailed off before forcing a smile on her face, "Permit me to clarify. He meant that he did not deem you a threat and I agree with his assessment."

Kagome had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. Again, he might not remember her but apparently some of the things she taught him hadn't been fully wiped. That knowledge brought her peace and also felt like a dagger in her heart. Even after all this time, she loved him, but he hadn't been hers then and he sure as hell wasn't hers _now_. That was the price she paid so his heart would beat again and that was worth a little heartache. Still she'd pay money to see him try to get someone to make him ramen when it hadn't been invented yet because if he remembered her homework lists which had all those boxes, she'd be _shocked_ if he didn't remember ramen. Oh yeah, she'd pay _good_ money to see that.

"For someone who travels often, I hoped perhaps you may have some insight about the strange happenings. It has been quite troublesome," Kikyo continued warmly, "It is no matter. Come. We have a hut designated for travelers. Its modest but it will do."

"But sister..." Kaede tried as she regarded Kagome suspiciously, "She looks like ye. Don't ye find that the least..."

"There are many men and women in the world Kaede," Kikyo hummed affectionately as she brushed a few stray hairs out of his sister's face, "Perhaps eventually you will find someone who bears a resemblance to you."

"Except they'll have _both_ eyes," Kaede huffed as she continued to glare at Kagome, "I will respect what ye have said sister but I still don't trust her. Allowing her in the village is a..."

"Kaede," Kikyo chided gently before casting Kagome anapologetic smile, "Forgive my sister for her rudeness. She is young and has developed quite a rebellious streak as of late."

"Probably Inuyasha's influence," Kagome laughed knowingly before realizing what she just said when Kikyo gave her a strange look, "You know because he seemed, uh, rude."

"Not always," Kikyo hummed apparently appeased by her explaination, "His demon heritage aside he is a very good man."

Kagome...didn't like that. At all. What was that supposed to mean? It wasn't like in his human nights he magically became a ball of sunshine. And he was always a good man no matter what form he took. Okay, to be fair, the full demon version of him wasn't the best but...

"Shall we?" Kikyo asked after a moment seemingly perturbed by her new aquaintances silence. Blinking a few times, Kagome nodded. It wasn't her place to say anything. She was only here to make sure the jewel kept it's end of the bargain and nothing more. After making sure the people she cared about were okay, she'd pop back through the well and never come back here again.

**XXXXXXXXX**

Inuyasha waited until he was out of Kikyo's line of vision before making a beeline to the monk who was meditating on the far side of the village. A monk who saw him coming and groaned at the look on his friend's face. Inuyasha looked far, _far_ too excited which meant one of two things. One, Kikyo was leaving the village for an extended period or two, there was an exorcism for which he was about to be drafted which would take several days. Given the speed at which Inuyasha was traveling, most likely he would not be here when Sango returned which was unfortunate. There was definitely an itch he would like scratched as soon as possible.

"I'm not going," Miroku hummed wryly as he closed his eyes and leaned back against the tree, "Take Shippo. Aren't you always complaining that he doesn't train? What an oppor..."

"What? No," Inuyasha huffed before he knelt down and whispered, "A new girl just came into the village."

"And that impacts me, _how_?" Miroku sighed as his lformed a thin line.

"I know her scent," Inuyasha continued excitedly, "_That _scent."

Miroku cracked open one eye to search his friends face before realizing that, in fact, he would not be meditating this fine afternoon.

"From your dream," Miroku acknowledged as he opened both eyes and sighed in a very annoyed fashion, "Inuyasha, as I've said before, while I understand your sense of smell is above my own, I cannot imagine..."

"You don't get it. This girl was _lying_ when I asked if we've met before," Inuyasha informed the monk as though that would throw any argument he had out with the bath water but Miroku merely looked nonplussed.

"Do you remember meeting her?" Miroku groaned in a very annoyed tone and Inuyasha's excited smile faded.

"I'll take that as a no," the monk observed as he chewed on his cheek, "Which means you have, in fact, not met her before. Therefore, my..."

"Just because I don't remember every bitch that crosses my path doesn't mean I haven't met her before," Inuyasha finally replied defensively, "And...and there's always a figure in my dreams. Maybe that's her."

"So what you are telling me," Miroku replied for the first time sounded somewhat amused, "Is that this is the girl of your dreams?"

Inuyasha blushed furiously and cringed.

"Look I know how that sounds," Inuyasha finally replied a little desperately which had the monk's eyes widening in surprise, "But I've been having that dream for _years_ now. Scents are unique and _that_ scent comes from _her_."

"And what, pray tell, happens in these dreams again?" Miroku asked curiously, "You are never very specific which has often made me..."

"They are not about _that_," Inuyasha cut him off as he gave him a withering glare, "They're just..._normal _things, ya know? Campfires. Running...and stuff."

"Stuff," Miroku repeated as a lecherous grin began blossoming on his lips, "My, my..."

"Kissing, alright? I have dreams about _kissing_," Inuyasha admitted exasperatedly as his blush deepened, "And...and someone petting my ears. But that scent is always the same is the point and that girl..."

Miroku tried and failed to look serious.

"It was _only_ kissing," Inuyasha insisted at the look on Miroku's face before scoffing and rolling his eyes, "Know what? Here I thought you'd be helpful but..."

As Inuyasha got to his feet with a scowl on his face, the monk gave his friend a patient look and sighed.

"Why are you so excited about this particular scent?" Miroku asked a little too innocently, "Does it invoke certain..."

"Shut up," Inuyasha demanded as he suddenly straightened up and tensed.

"Avoiding the..."

"I said shut up," Inuyasha hissed quietly as one ear strained forward and he added, "Say you can't go. Volunteer me."

"Wha-" Miroku began to ask before low and behold Kikyo appeared and began walking towards them.

"There you are," she greeted warmly and the cringe that was missed by her was not missed by the monk, "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I was gone _maybe_ five minutes," Inuyasha clipped back and Kikyo's smile faltered.

"That was quite rude and I've asked you not to use your phrases," she chided, "That has no meaning. Our guest was most confused and frankly you offended her. You are no longer living like a wild animal. You need to act more civilized. There is no..."

Miroku could visibly see Inuyasha's eye twitch as she continued chastising him for these '_phrases_' which were easily understood but didn't comment.

"...Miroku to accompany her," Kikyo finished before addressing the monk directly, "I know Sango will return shortly but would you be so kind as to accompany the young woman on her journey? I'm sure Sango wouldn't mind your absence."

Ah, that's what Inuyasha meant. And yes, the only one of their companions who actively _hated_ Kikyo would most _definitely_ mind being left behind _with_ Kikyo. That was the _entire_ reason Sango went to the slayer's village these past few weeks. The only reason she even bothered staying here at all is that her loyalty to Inuyasha and to himself outweighed any insanity she bore by being in Kikyo's presence. If the miko had been with them throughout those years they sought the elusive assailant on their own, it was quite possible Sango and he would never have been married. Not quite possible. It merely would never have occurred.

"While I would love the opportunity to accompany a beautiful woman, I must decline," Miroku hummed apologetically, "Sango will return any day and it has been quite some time since we last saw each other. I would prefer to stay here as she is expected any day. Perhaps Inuyasha should accompany this woman. He is much faster and the task would be accomplished in no time at all."

A flash of what could be anger shot through her eyes before the smile was back and she nodded.

"Of course, I completely understand," Kikyo hummed as she turned to address Inuyasha, "Would that be too much trouble?"

"Where is she going?" Inuyasha asked as he mentally jumped for joy. Now he had time alone with this woman and maybe, just maybe, figure out where the hell he'd met her before. And for an added bonus he could get the hell away for a minute.

"To a fishing village in the South," Kikyo hummed.

"Shouldn't take more than a week," Inuyasha commented a little too casually, "I wouldn't mind."

"When Sango returns, why don't we meet at the wolf demons den? There are some rumors in the West of incidents we should investigate," Kikyo announced and Inuyasha's eye began twitching again. Miroku held his tongue. For the years before she had entered their lives, Inuyasha had called the shots but this was his life now by his own choice. His to-be-woman made all the decisions and he just had to nod and go along with it. This relationship was doomed to fail from the beginning and he had warned Inuyasha way back when but, at the time, he would not listen. Something about how he had courted her in the past but it had ended badly which he regretted. The details were always vague. As were the details of everything anymore it would seem. For the life of him, Miroku could barely remember his childhood or what he was doing before he had met his friends. Even then, how they met and became friends was honestly a little fuzzy. Not that he minded them being in his life, it just struck him as strange. But perhaps that was just life and getting older.

He barely kept the smirk off his face when Kikyo stood on her tiptoes and kissed Inuyasha's cheek.

"You can be so sweet," she cooed, "Will you come for dinner tonight?"

"Depends on whether I finish helping with that hut or not," he countered, "They're getting married in a week ya know and I promised..."

"You can come late. I have not had much opportunity to be alone with you in many weeks. You have spent all your time building huts for others instead of making time for us," Kikyo pressed and Miroku closed his eyes before leaning back against the tree. How that woman had not noticed the way Inuyasha actively avoided her baffled him. If he treated Sango in such a way, he would suddenly find himself without a wife. But Kikyo only ever seemed to double down after such behavior and guilt her betrothed into spending time with her. Not much worked on the stubborn hanyou but guilt always seemed to do the trick. And it was the constant barrage of guilt combined with her insisting on being in charge that was driving the man she purportedly loved insane. That and insisting he allow her to purify him because _whatever_could go wrong.

"Dinner would be great," Inuyasha sighed as his tense posture relaxed and he leaned down to kiss her cheek back, "I'll try to finish early. Why don't you head back? I need to discuss a few things with Miroku, okay?"

"Very well," Kikyo hummed sadly as she pressed her hand against her cheek and gave him a shy smile, "I look forward to this evening."

Inuyasha nodded and waited until she was a fair distance away before turning back towards the monk.

"I need to get out of this," the half-demon groaned as he moved and sat down against the tree, "I can't do it, Miroku. I can't fucking do it. Its like shes trying to drive me insane on purpose."

"Do you refer to your upcoming escort or your beloved?" Miroku chuckled darkly. He didn't need to open his eyes again to know the glare Inuyasha was giving him.

"I thought you valued honor, my friend," the monk teased, "What changed?"

"Maybe nothing," Inuyasha sighed as he repeatedly beat the back of his head against the tree bark,"Maybe everything. Either way, I just need to man up and call the whole thing off."

"Sango would be glad to do it for you I'm sure" Miroku laughed softly and Inuyasha snorted.

"I might not do it but if I do, I can do it _myself_," Inuyasha groaned, "But _if_ I do, it'll mean we have to travel again. I'll miss this place."

"The central location has been nice," Miroku acknowledged before adding, "Sango's village would allow us to reside there. Or perhaps we could seek shelter with the wolf demons from time to time."

"They do owe us," Inuyasha hummed lazily.

"That they do."


	3. Dreams or Reality

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Inuyasha took his sweet time making sure every single piece of lumber he cut down was identical in every single way. From their length and width to the manner in which they were treated and smoothed. By the time he was finished the moon was high in the sky and literally everyone was asleep. Except two aside from himself.

'_Of course she'd stay up_,' Inuyasha cursed silently as he trudged across the village, '_Probably wants to try to convince me to turn human. Again. Cold, ungrateful bitch.'_

Sniffing once, he rolled his eyes. He needed to not think that way. No matter what he'd made a promise and even though he regretted it now, what had been done was done. He had made a commitment. He didn't have the luxury of being able to think that way. Sighing, he set his jaw and pushed back the mat. Setting his jaw, he didn't need to go much further to smell the god awful food that she overspiced. Because no matter how many times he told her he didn't like too many spices she didn't listen or just straight up didn't care. Whatever she did it was clear she wanted to mold him into what she thought he should be. Swallowing thickly, he had to chide himself.

_'Don't lash out. Don't lash out. You made a commitment. Don't lash out.'_

"Sorry I'm late," he mumbled as he moved to sit down near the fire and Kikyo shrugged with a soft smile.

"I...I made you a separate serving," she informed him a sickly sweet tone, "It's plain."

He blinked a few times in surprise as she uncovered the smaller bowl she had kept warm by the fire. Well, that was new. Since when did she actually listened to the words coming out of his mouth?

"And I wanted to apologize," she continued somewhat nervously and he frowned, "About my request."

Slowly taking a bite, he waited for her to continue. What was this now?

"It was wrong of me to ask such a thing," she continued hesitantly and he knew exactly which request she was referring to without her adding, "I love you regardless of which form you may take."

"Then why'd you ask?" he countered in a monotone voice as he took another bite of the half-decent gruel. Kikyo sighed.

"My concern was primarily regarding children," she admitted, "Whether I would be able to carry a child with youkai blood given my spiritual powers."

Yeah, so she'd be the last person he'd ever want to have kids with literally ever and had always planned on not having brats in the first place which she knew but _whatever_.

"I told you I didn't want kids," he reminded her curtly and she wilted slightly.

"I know. I had hoped your concerns were that a child would be...would be like you," she spoke softly as she wrung her hands, "But I should have realized..."

Inuyasha exhaled slowly as he set down his bowl.

"You want children," he stated more than asked and she nodded meekly.

"Our lives would never be without danger," he pointed out, "You've created some powerful enemies and so have I. It would never be safe for them. Our enemies would use the children. Attack them. Kill them."

"I know," she replied softer still, "I know that. But knowing has not quelled that desire."

Well now didn't he feel like a right bastard. All this time he assumed it was because she hated his demonic blood but he should have known there was a more complicated reason. She wasn't a simple woman. Things had never been black and white for her but rather varying shades of grey.

"I'll think about it," he lied smoothly even though he knew this was an issue he would never change his mind about. Not only because he honestly believed he'd be a terrible father - _hell look how he treated the kit who he loved like a son and yet antagonized mercilessly_ \- but because he knew he would live in a state of constant fear. Something could happen to _him_ and then they'd be alone as he had been all his life. Something could happen to _them_ and he'd never be able to forgive himself. And he didn't want his children growing up knowing their father did not love their mother. It was a recipe for disaster. Despite the time they spent together, he still didn't trust her. He _honestly_ couldn't remember why or how they'd fallen in love in the first place. They were so radically different it made no sense whatsoever. What he wouldn't give to go back and kick that younger version of himself's ass before he got them in this mess.

"I love you as a half-demon," she murmured affectionately as she gave him a hopeful smile, "I don't want to change you."

The smile he gave her in return was forced.

"Love you too," he mumbled awkwardly and the words tasted bitter on his tongue. So much for caring about honor and honesty.

"Will you...would you be willing to stay the night?" Kikyo asked tentatively with a crimson blush and Inuyasha read between the lines with mild horror.

"It...it wouldn't be decent," he coughed lightly as he stood to leave, "Its late enough as it is."

"No one would have to know," she argued and Inuyasha honestly felt a little sick. This felt like a trap. After all that discussion about children, he had a feeling that she was asking right now for a purpose and that purpose was to force him to father a child. His chest felt tight as he shook his head. This was wrong. This was _so_ wrong.

"Not tonight," he insisted as he took an involuntary step back, "I've got a long journey ahead of me tomorrow."

"All the more reason," she pouted, "The journey is long and perilous."

"Not really," he argued as he scratched the back of his neck. It was becoming a struggle not to succumb to his instincts and skitter away like a frightened animal.

"Please," she begged softly and he shook his head.

"I'm not doing that," he stated firmly with no real bite, "Not until we're married and that's final."

Kikyo nodded, her blush growing exponentially as she played with her hands.

"I'm sorry I tried to change who you are," she whispered forlornly as she glanced up at him before staring back down at her hands, "That was unforgivable."

"S'not that," Inuyasha coughed lightly, "Just think its not the time."

Kikyo nodded and chewed on her lip.

"So...I'll be going then," he muttered awkwardly as he turned to leave, "I'll come say bye before we head out, alright?"

He didn't see it but he heard Kikyo sniffle and could smell her tears.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Kagome yawned as she walked at a steady pace across the heartbreakingly familiar landscape. Inuyasha, strangely, had immediately begun interrogating her once they were out of earshot of the village and had now taken to asking a little more personal questions. So far everything she'd said was true if phrased correctly. There was _indeed_ a village in the South where a girl named Shiori lived. In the past, she _had_ helped that village before. It _was_ certainly true that treated injuries before. Her help _had_ been requested there not too long ago. Help that had been for a different time, place and cause but that was beside the point. There was a skepticism though with each new response. A calculating look he would give her as he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Thank god he couldn't read minds.

"True or false," Inuyasha asked as he stretched and locked his hands behind his head, "Your name is Higurashi."

Kagome sighed heavily before mumbling, "True."

"Partially true," he hummed knowingly as he gave her a perplexed once over and smirked, "True or false. We've met before."

Kagome paused mid-step as something dawned on her. Scent. He might not be able to read her mind but he _could_ read her _scent_. Much, much better than he'd ever let on before. Which why was he being so open about that ability to basically a stranger? Since when was he talkative and playful and...it almost felt like he was _flirting_ with her. Which made no sense. Nothing was making any sense. Just damn it all. Taking a shaky breath, Kagome murmured, "Pass."

"So we _have_ met before," Inuyasha chuckled as he chewed the inside of his cheek, "True or false. You've ki..."

His bravado faltered as he cleared his throat and amended, "You, uh, were attacked by me. In the past."

Inhaling sharply, Kagome cringed and knew her answer would be misinterpreted, "True."

"So I've hurt you," Inuyasha asked in a heartbroken tone that was so unlike him that had he not been the only person around she would've sworn it was someone else. Kagome swallowed thickly, "Not on purpose."

Inuyasha blinked in surprise as some of the tension seeped out of him and curiousity took its place.

"What do you mean?" he asked softly as his hands dropped and folded in front of his chest, "Whatever it was..."

"Inuyasha, can we not talk about this?" Kagome pleaded as she quickened her pace. Without warning, Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and scowled.

"True or false," he asked as he stopped dead, "Did you come to the village to find me?"

Kagome froze and every muscle in her body tensed.

"To hurt me?" he followed up in a strained tone and Kagome closed her eyes in pain. Inuyasha's heart began beating out of his chest. She _knew_ him. _Missed_ him. If his nose was correct, maybe even _loved_ him. And yet he couldn't remember her for the life of him. How could someone love someone they never met in person unless...

"True or false," he continued barely above a whisper, "Have you...have you dreamed of me?"

Kagome sagged and opened her mouth then shut it several times. Knowing he could smell the answer she kept quiet. For real, she did not expect her secret to be exposed so quickly. What happened to the guy who just walked in silence? Where was _he_ when she needed him? She heard Inuyasha let out a slow exhale before he moved to look at her. His amber eyes trying to read her expression.

"I don't know your face," he admitted softly before adding with a long sigh, "But I know your scent. Why?"

Kagome sagged even more as she shook her head and tried to walk around him. To be honest, she didn't even know why she was leading him on a journey to nowhere. Shiori's village undoubtedly was not in need of a healer and even if by some miracle they were, she knew they'd say they hadn't asked for one. Inuyasha wasn't supposed to remember her. The jewel had said...

"You _know_ why," he accused as he grabbed her arm tightly and yanked her back, "So answer the damn question. _Why _do I know your scent?"

"I don't know," she huffed as she tried to break free but he only tightened his grip, "Let go. You're hurting me."

"You want me to know you but you don't know why I do," he concluded and Kagome's eyes widened in horror. _Holy **shit**. _Had he always been able to read her so well? It was like he could see into her mind and pluck out thoughts just by reading the notes that she was giving off. _If_ that _was_ true then how did he _not_ know she loved him all that time? Was he playing stupid on purpose? What else had he known? And why did he never say anything?!

His nostrils flared and his hand shook slightly. It was becoming increasingly difficult to read her scent. She _had_ dreamed of him but it was more than that. It was _so_ much more than that.

"Are they dreams or memories?" he asked hoarsely as his grip tightened so much it hurt.

"You're _hurting_ me. Let _go_," Kagome hissed as she tried to break free.

"Dreams or memories?" he repeatedly a little more firmly as he tilted his face so his hair blocked her view.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kagome clipped and he let out a shuddering sigh. That was partially true which made sense. How could she know what he dreamed? They were memories. Had to be. Buried so deep in his subconscious that dreams were the only way they could surface. The world suddenly made sense again. They were _memories_ so why...

"Was I hurt?" he asked and Kagome gasped softly before he he hummed and released her. Her arm throbbing slightly as blood rushed through it. The rush of blood made her scent so much clearer. The scent of grief and pain. Whatever injury he'd had must have been severe. Might've almost killed him.

"You look like her," he sighed shakily, "You look _so_ much like her. That...that explains it then. Why I..."

He trailed off before clearing his throat. Memories or not, the thought brought him back to reality. He was pledged to another. Those memories didn't..._couldn't_ matter. Not until...

He swallowed repeatedly until he felt like he could speak again.

"Come on," he demanded softly, "We need to keep going. The village is waiting for you."

Kagome merely stood in place and waited. If he managed to discern all of that by scent alone then...

"Why are you lying?" he chuckled darkly as he kept his back to her, "What did I do to you that you're so afraid?"

"You didn't do anything," Kagome whispered as a tear broke free. Inuyasha furrowed his brow. That was true and yet false all at the same time. She wasn't afraid of him but for him. But he _had_ done something and yet that part was still a lie. None of this made any sense and his head was beginning to hurt. The grief that spiked in her scent confusing him to no end until his eyes widened and his breath left him in a whoosh.

"_You_ did something," he breathed as realization set in and began sniffing madly, "Did you hurt me? No. No it wasn't that. What did you do?"

"I can't say," she choked back a sob, "I need to go back. This was a mistake. I want you to let me go back."

He chuckled darkly at how familiar that seemed. Like this was something they had done often. But there was a spike there. His nostrils flared as he tried to verify the subtle notes underlying her admission. She believed that she couldn't say. And then there were these undertones. He knew exactly what that scent meant but he needed to be sure.

"Did you love me?" he asked as he turned to face her with mournful amber eyes and she didn't bother denying it. This was a mistake. She _never_ should have come back.

"You loved someone else," she admitted and his eyes widened slightly. She obviously believed that part was true and it was also true that he had hurt her. His face softened as it all began to click.

"You wanted to see me because you love me," he breathed as his heart felt like it was melting. Like this was something he had dreamed of knowing all his life. And it was true. He swallowed thickly as he tried to stomp down the strange feeling.

"But you don't think I loved you," he pressed and his face fell while his heart that seconds ago felt so full now felt absolutely shattered. True. That part was true. So why didn't it feel true? And how could he not remember a woman who loved him? Or anything about her?

"You died," she admitted tearfully as she buried her face in her hands, "You died and I did what I had to do to bring you back. You don't remember because that was the price of..."

"And who the _hell_ were you to make the decision? Using black magic or whatever the hell you did! Magic always comes with a price you stupid bitch! You don't know what that could've done! You don't know what that _did_ do to me! " Inuyasha asked angrily as he pointed in the direction from which they came, "Is that my home? Did you drop me with strangers? Is anything in my life real?!"

Rage and fear suddenly rushing through his veins. What had she done? Was there something wrong with him now? Something dark hiding and waiting to surface? Was everything a lie?

"What the hell did you do? Answer me bitch! You can't just do that shit. If I was dead, then you should've let me stay..."

"Don't you _dare_," Kagome countered coldly as tears continued streaming down her face, "All that matters to me is that you're alive. That's it. End of story. Bring me back. I'm going home. This was a mistake. I should never have..."

"**_No_**," Inuyasha huffed as his face contorted in rage, "I dream of you and that damn scent of yours every fucking night. For _years_ now and I _never_ knew why. Now I'm supposed to marry some girl who I absolutely loathe because I got all confused by whatever the hell you did so I don't give a shit what _you_ want. My life is a living hell and I want to know _why_ **_dammit_**!"

Breathing heavily, Kagome sent him a hate filled glare.

"You loved _her_! Not me! You haven't confused _anything_!" she screamed, "Now let me go back or so help me I will find some stupid beads and sit..."

Kagome's eyes widened in shock that was reflected back in Inuyasha's eyes before he slammed against the ground. It was all Kagome could do not to scream in frustration and shock. The jewel apparently could do many things but removing the beads and the spell upon them was not one of them. On the receiving end, the full reality of the situation hit Inuyasha like a ton of bricks and his mind began to go into panic mode.

She really _had_ made a deal. She had used some type of dark magic to bring him back which what that meant for him he wasn't sure. Something that gave her power over him. To control him. Was she a dark miko?

His chest began began heaving from his place in the dirt and it was becoming hard to breathe. It took actual effort to calm himself down enough to keep his composure which for someone like him was saying something.

"Or...or that," Kagome chuckled awkwardly as she sniffled and wiped away the tears on her cheeks, "I'm sorry this life isn't a happy one but know what? You have a pulse. That's literally..."

"What the hell was that?! And...and why _sit_?! I'm not a dog!" he cut her off angrily as he pried himself off the ground and Kagome let out a manic sounding laugh.

"Well you tried to kill me so someone slapped some beads around your stupid neck and I said the _first_ thing that popped into my head," Kagome retorted with a crazed laugh. Inuyasha's anger and fear seemed to fade as he paled. This information seeming to put a break on whatever was going through his mind.

"I..."

"Tried to kill me, _yeah_," she laughed as more tears fell, "You always made it perfectly clear I didn't mean anything to you except being a stupid shard collector so..."

"Wait, shard collector?" he asked suddenly as confusion became written all over his face, "Shards of..."

Without warning, a searing pain suddenly pierced his head and it was all he could do not to scream.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome breathed as she rushed to his side, "Inuyasha?!"

The pain increased ten fold and he curled into a fetal position against his will.

"No, no, no, no, no," Kagome sobbed, "I...I..."

Glancing over his body, her mind raced to find a culprit before cold dread washed over her. The jewel. That's...that's how they were brought back. Like Kohaku had been. Which meant...

A soft muffled cry of pain escaped his lips as he twitched and writhed. Oh god, how she wished she'd never come back. This wasn't right. The jewel hadn't granted her true wish. It never granted her wish at all. It was a trick. This was false. His life...

She never should have tried to play god.

"Hold still," she ordered hoarsely and she watched him lock up even as his body trembled and his chest heaved. Kikyo's words rang in her mind. Above the eye. An incision. Something else had realized there were jewel shards in everyone brought back. Her heart felt like it had been ripped out of her chest. After everything, it was ironic she had to be the one...

It wasn't fair that it had to be her. It wasn't fair but this...

A muffled scream escaped him as his whole body shook. The jewel exacting it's revenge for someone having discovered the dirty truth. Running her fingers across his forehead, she tried to sense a shard and with a grief filled sob she found it. How she hadn't sensed it before...

"I love you, okay? Do...do you trust me?" she managed to ask as tears steamed down her face and he managed to nod. It was true even though he didn't knew why. He trusted her from that very first moment. Sniffling she pressed a kiss atop his head before pulling an arrow off the satchel on her back, "H-hold still okay?"

He managed to nod again as he tensed even more in anticipation of more pain. A soft whine lodging deep in his throat as a tear broke free and one trembling hand clutched her kimono like it was his last lifeline. Kagome took several heart wrenching breaths before she pressed the arrowhead into his skin. A single incision. It was shocking how easily the jewel popped out. How easy it was to kill him...

For one agonizing heartbeat, Kagome waited anxiously for some sign that her worst fear wasn't true before choking back a scream when Inuyasha's whole body went limp as a long relieved sigh escaped his lips. His chest unmoving as his face went slack. A strangled sob escaped her lips as she gathered him against her and began rocking.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered as tears streamed down her face "I'm so..."

As she continued to mumble apologies completely lost in her own grief, she missed the way the hand still clutching her kimono slowly moved from the cloth onto her knee and flexed. His eyes dancing behind closed flesh as a small smile played on his lips and his legs slowly unfurled.

"Fucking hell woman," Inuyasha's voice chuckled hoarsely as he sagged more fully against her and buried his face into her chest - inhaling deeply like he had never breathed air before, "It's just a stupid cut. I'm not weak like you dumb humans."


	4. She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Inuyasha? Inuyasha I'm so…" Kagome sobbed as she clutched her to him, "I'm so glad th…_oomph_."

Kagome's eyes widened and her words were cut short when Inuyasha's hand shot up and covered her mouth.

"Just shut _up_," Inuyasha groaned as he snuggled into her and his other arm wrapped around her waist, "We can fight about this later Kagome."

Kagome's eyes bugged when he called her by her real name and she nearly died when she felt him sink into her. There was a moment when she seriously wondered if this was a dream when he hummed happily and nuzzled her. Did…did the jewel actually _damage_ him? What the hell was _this_?!

"Inuyasha, are you…" Kagome began – her voice muffled by his hand which pressed harder against her mouth in response.

"What part of '_shut up_' did you not understand?" he interrupted with an exasperated sigh, "Just give me a moment, alright?"

A moment to do _what_ was the question. All he seemed to be doing was nuzzling her like a freaking cat and a strange vibration was coming out of him that she would've sworn was a purr of some kind. The jewel did something. Whatever it was could only be bad. Addled his mind. Turned him into a cat demon. The list of weird, possibly terrible consequences of what she'd done rocketed through her mind as he merely seemed content to hold her and be held.

"Kikyo's gunna be pissed," he chuckled softly as his lips twitched upwards and his hand slowly dropped from her mouth – taking its time leisurely sliding down her neck and down her chest. She wasn't sure if that comment was directed at her or himself.

"Why?" Kagome asked hoarsely as she sat stock still – afraid to move for fear of doing something to set his obviously crazed mind into panic mode.

"You came back," he pointed out as he buried his face and inhaled deeply, "And for the past couple years I've thought I was supposed to marry her."

He paused and chuckled as he stretched out his legs and adjusted himself into what he apparently thought was a more comfortable position. His face soft and content while the hand previously blocking her mouth began gently gliding up and down her thigh.

"You dumb bitch. Making me do shit."

Nodding slowly, Kagome didn't see how those two were connected in any way. Was both afraid and hurt by his admission. Yes she came back and she probably shouldn't have done that but his mouth and his actions once was sending mixed messages. He had always intended on being with Kikyo. Whether she came back or not was completely irrelevant. Plus, why the hell was he still talking so much?! Why couldn't he just yell at her and then sit in sullen silence like he had always done? This was so unlike him – this whole day had been so unlike him – that she was utterly convinced her wish had driven him mad.

"O-oh," Kagome laughed nervously and she felt him sigh heavily before he pulled himself up to face her. A small trickle of dried blood still on his forehead from where the jewel had been withdrawn. The look he was giving her was so foreign that her worry and anxiety only grew. It was strangely warm but still condescending. Like he thought she was a complete idiot but an adorable idiot. His lips were quirked up in a playful smirk and one eyebrow was raised as if to say '_seriously?_' which in all honesty was probably what he was thinking.

"I'm fine Kagome. You don't gotta be so nervous," he laughed softly as he shook his head and the warmth in his gaze only increased as he tucked a loose hair behind her ear, "Shit woman. I mean, I know all that probably wasn't on purpose but why do ya always gotta be so dramatic? S'not that bad. We're together now. That's all that matters."

Kagome furrowed her brow and cocked her head to the side. What was that supposed to mean? All the things she thought she had known were being thrown out of the window one by one. Since when was he affectionate? Since when did he talk like being with Kikyo was a nightmare? Since when did he act like her being near him was a good thing? He normally acted like he hated her half the time or at least was annoyed by her. Sure, they were _friends_ but...

"You didn't know," he breathed in mild horror before something clicked behind his amber eyes and they began to search her face, "_Was_ it on purpose? Did you bring her back to be with _me_? Is _that_ why I didn't remember you?"

The last part almost sounded like a squeak it was so high pitched and mortified. He looked utterly stricken like she'd just committed the ultimate betrayal which was just another thing giving her whiplash today.

"I just wanted..."

Nostrils flaring, fear and uncertainty bled into his eyes. Like this realization rocked the very foundation of who he was as a person. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed several times and his heart constricted painfully in his chest.

"How could you not know?" he asked hoarsely as his breath began leaving his lips in shuddering pants, "I need you beside me. Y-you...you _know_ that. I...I told...what _else_ could that mean?"

His mouth moved wordlessly for a moment after his last statement like he was struggling to explain more thoroughly but wasn't sure how. His hand moving to cup her chin to force her to look at him with that same look in his eyes that was present when she'd found him dying on the battlefield. Heartbroken but trying to convey silently what he wanted to say out loud.

"Kagome..." he whispered as he sighed and titled his head to the side, "All that time you really didn't know?"

His softly spoken question sounded so heartbroken that it was a wonder he wasn't crying. Every subsequent breath shaky like he was trying to stay calm and positive but was failing miserably.

Kagome whimpered as she tried to pull her face away but he held firm and a long shaky sigh escaped his lips. She was obviously going into shock. It made warped sense that she never realized what he meant and his heart broke at that epiphany. For the longest time, he assumed that the problem was that she was from a different time. That she was unsure whether she could stay with him. The, at times, overwhelming barrage of doubt that pervaded her scent painful but she'd always come back to him and _he_ had refused to believed she'd be taken. Even now, she had come back and saved him. She found him. She would always find him and he would always find her. In this life and the next.

Or so he thought.

Turns out she really was stupid enough to think he didn't love her at all and was crazy about Kikyo. Which made no sense. None at all. Sure, okay, he had tried to protect her but that was just kinda his default mode. Protect all the things. Or all the _people_ anyway. Not _all_ the people but the people that _mattered_. And Kikyo mattered. He'd fucked up and damned her to that shit life by saying her name. Almost killed Kagome while he was at it.

In the beginning, he'd hoped the Kikyo he knew was still in there and that she might still love him but he wasn't an idiot. Kikyo hadn't been brought back. Not _really. _Slowly, painfully but surely, he'd given up on that dream but it was his fault Kikyo was like that. She deserved protection, at a minimum, and compassion. He understood all too well what it was like to belong nowhere and be alone in the world. He would never, _never_ abandon someone who had no one else.

Besides, he might have some self-esteem issues but that didn't mean he was gunna harbor some undying love and damn himself to being treated like dirt all his life. He wanted more than that. And up until a few moments ago, spell excluded, he thought that the woman he did love loved him back. Had been living happily with a bright future ahead of him. Very much looking forward to the end of the quest when he could settle down with his intended and actually live like a normal person for once. Have a life that was stable, secure and full of love.

But apparently _all of that_ had gone over Kagome's head. She really never understood what he meant. Didn't think things were the way he thought they were. Was just running around thinking he hated her or some shit. It was almost beyond belief but...but if he really tried, he could kinda see it? _Maybe_? Providing for her and protecting her just a way of life without significance. Something that had to be done in their day to day life during the quest. In her world, maybe it wasn't a big deal to be physically affectionate. Him cuddling her against his chest or carrying her or holding her hand just something people did in the future. Which was weird but most things in her era were weird so it wasn't that hard to imagine that might be true. Wrinkling his nose subconsciously, he had to bite back a growl at the thought that kissing someone was normal. And they _had_ kissed. Besides, he always showed her preference and she always returned the favor. Why would he think he needed to do more than what he was already doing to bring his intentions home? Hell, what else was he supposed to think? She showered him with affection that was only used for spouses. Treated him like a husband way before he started treating her like a wife. In a strange way he had thought of them as basically married for the better half of the quest. They'd settle down and become official when it was over, obviously, but they were at a minimum _engaged_. That's why that Akitoki bastard and Koga bothered him so much. Who hits on a married woman except assholes?! And while Kagome defended wolf shit and that pathetic weakling he'd assumed it was because she knew he had nothing to worry about since she only had eyes for him. That there was no reason to fight because her devotion was absolute. Which still pissed him off because who the hell thinks that they can just...well, she was his and he was just defending his woman. That's all there was to it.

But then...he could also see how she just assumed he cared more for Kikyo. There had been so many moments. So many things she misunderstood.

How could he have been so blind? So stupid? He knew her scent so thoroughly it had become a part of him. So much so that the memory of it lodged itself in his mind and refused to be ignored. That scent of doubt that burned his nose hadn't been worry of the future. It had been heartbreak because she just straight up didn't know he loved her. She doubted because he'd never actually _said_ those three little words.

Well that was an easy fix, right? Just say it and this whole little misunderstanding would be over. He sighed and offered her a loving smile.

"It means I love you Ka-go-me," he murmured affectionately as the purr began again and he gathered her trembling form against him, "I love you. Now and always."

Kagome let out a choked sob and buried her face. Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha cringed and set his jaw. _Dammit_. Why was she making this so difficult? Here was his dumb ass thinking they'd been a couple and in love and that she was perfect for him and him for her. Spent countless hours day dreaming about where their hut would be and what he could do to provide for her and...more _vivid_ things that even made him blush on occasion. Yeah they fought but that's just what they did and to be honest, he loved it. What other person in the world would ever match his temper and not cower in fear? Who could stand up to him as an equal and not back down? God he loved that. He craved their fights like water. Especially when he was feeling insecure or afraid. It made him feel more secure that she was there. That she was willing to fight with him, for him and for them. For their future. She wasn't weak. Their fights always made him feel like it would all be okay because _she_ was strong enough to survive and she would always be there to save him. Which was probably unhealthy but ultimately had been true.

She survived. He didn't. And her dumb ass _did_ save him. She saved him like she always had done but...she had been fucking _stupid_ when she went about it.

Typical.

"Is that why you wished for me to forget you?" he asked after a moment before freezing when her scent spoke for her, "I can't believe it. You _honestly_ thought I didn't care."

"I didn't wish for you to forget me because I didn't think you cared! I knew you _cared_. That was part of the deal," Kagome clipped back defensively as a flicker of her usual self shone through, "That was what it wanted."

"And what if it wanted you to _die_, huh? Would _that_ have been _fine_ too?" Inuyasha huffed as he rolled his eyes before tensing and freezing in horror at what he was smelling before she even answered. His initial anger that she'd made the wish at all vaporizing instantly.

"I offered that so _yeah_ it _would've_ been fine," she replied flippantly as she folded her arms across her chest, "I made a deal and that's what the price was! I'd do it again too you...you...

"You did _what_ now?" Inuyasha breathed as his heart skipped a beat and his brain momentarily flat lined. Swallowing thickly, Kagome couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye as she muttered, "I asked it to take me in exchange for you guys but it didn't want that."

Inuyasha's heart raced and his mind short circuited as paralyzing terror coursed through his veins. His chest rising and falling unsteadily in time with his increasingly shaky pants.

"W-why would you even offer that?" he finally managed to breathe and Kagome glanced at him before looked back at her hands. She didn't need to answer and they both knew it. Not only by her scent but because, to be honest, he would've offered the same deal for her. He couldn't blame her when he would've done the same. When he would've done anything if he'd lost her.

Doing the only thing he felt capable of doing in that moment, he yanked her into his embrace and held her to him for all she was worth. She could've been beyond his reach forever. Not just...not just in this life but the next and the next and...and in those final moments as he lay dying, he tried to convey his promise to find her again in her era. How much he loved her and how sorry he was to leave her behind. Silently, of course, which was a problem considering she believed, at that time, that they were friends at best and casual acquaintances at worst. He saw her as his wife for all intents and purposes and his silent declaration of love, which he'd assumed she knew about, went right over her stupid head. He really needed to work on his people skills.

"Why would it..." he paused and cleared his throat as he held her a little tighter, "Why would it want everyone to forget you? I don't understand."

"I _literally_ don't care," she sighed in a tired tone - her brain fried beyond all reason, "I just want to go home. This was a mistake."

"Well I'm not letting you leave," he informed her in an irked tone, "What about _I love you_ are you not getting? What about _I need you_ did you not understand? They're going to have to pry you out of my cold..."

He tried to put the brakes on his little declaration before it was too late but...

Kagome let out a choked sob and buried her face in his robe while he smacked himself mentally. Oh right, he had indeed died. That had happened and there he went...

"Hey," he hummed affectionately as he kissed the top of her head, "Its okay. Its all going to be okay."

The miko, for her part, was utterly convinced he was either insane or she was having a fever dream. Her ability to cope with everything that had happened since that morning pretty much shot to hell. All she wanted was to find out if the jewel kept its end of the bargain and now she'd gone and exposed what it had done and she was so sure it was going to take all of it back and...and she had just ruined _everything_.

"You haven't ruined anything," he hummed as he closed his eyes and rested his cheek against her hair, "All that matters is that..."

Chewing his lip for a second, he swallowed and finished hesitantly, "Is that we love each other. We can figure the rest out later."

To be honest, from the moment he realized that she didn't believe he loved her, a seed of doubt had wormed its way into his own heart. For so long, he had been so sure she loved him. How could she not freaking know, right? How else did anyone explain what she'd done? She even said it on occasion! Now, though, his heart began sinking into his gut as he realized that maybe she did know he loved her but didn't feel the same. A fear that for years now he'd been mistaking '_I love you but as a friend'_ as _'I love you and want to be your wife.'_ His arms tightened around her as his heart began beating a little faster and fear griped his very soul. A part of him even wished he had just died so he wouldn't have had to find out the happiest times of his life were a complete lie. Well, not a lie. More like he'd been living in the world's cruelest joke and his feelings were the punchline.

"Why didn't you ever say so before?" she finally whispered and he had to stop himself from pleading with her to love him like an abandoned child in the street. Sure, she'd never actually said it but neither had he. All this time he'd been operating on the assumption that there was an understanding. And it wasn't like...it wasn't like that was necessarily something people said a lot. The _only_ reason he even said it to Kikyo was that she kept saying it to him and he, wrongly, assumed that he was supposed to be with her. So he'd said it back and it felt gross. More than gross. With Kagome...

With Kagome, he'd never said _'I love you'_ per se but he admitted he needed her. Because he did. How could someone _not_ need the center of their world?

"I thought you knew," he admitted - his voice sounded small and somewhat frightened as his arms tightened around her.

"But what about..."

"I fucking swear if you end that with Kikyo's name I _will_ scream," Inuyasha cut her off harshly as his nerves got the better of him, "Cut the crap. Do you love me or not?"

"I thought you could read my scent," Kagome clipped back like a toddler and Inuyasha's right eye twitched.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no," Inuyasha scoffed, "For years..."

He anger at her childishness faltered as his insecurity surged. Should he even admit what he'd thought? To be honest, probably but he was still holding onto the hope that he was right all along. That he was the one misunderstanding right now.

"For years **_what_**?" Kagome huffed as she tried to pull away but he held her tighter and refused to let her go.

"I thought you were my wife," he finished lamely as one hand moved to keep her head against his shoulder so she couldn't escape, "I thought...ya know...that we were a couple. That any doubt you had was about the future. Not...not about me."

Kagome gasped softly as an indiscernible scent hit his nose. Guilt maybe? Guilt that she had not been clear and led him on? Or guilt that she hadn't believed him? There was that scent of love too mixed with heartbreak. The heartbreak he'd always assumed was about other things but now he knew...

"I told you...I said I needed you," he whispered as he buried his nose into her hair and breathed in deeply, "I...I j-just thought you knew what that meant."

What was he going to do if she left? He really couldn't marry Kikyo now especially now that he'd gotten a real taste of the hell that would've been in another place and time. He hoped...couldn't help the unwanted thought that had flashed through his mind at first about what his life would be now. Not exactly the same as it had been but so much more. And those thoughts had began to hurt at the realization that her affection had just been her normal. If hugging him and touching him and kissing him had been as a friend, he had had to stomp down the mild excitement as his mind conjured up images of what she would've done if he really was engaged to her all this time. Forbidden thoughts that even now had him biting back a moan.

"I..." Kagome began before Inuyasha whined. Pulling her face back roughly by the hair, he captured her lips and cupped her face in his hands. If she couldn't talk, she couldn't say she was leaving right? Despite himself, he moaned when she responded and wrapped her arms around his neck. As their mouths battled for dominance, his hands glided down her body before lifting her and dropping her down so she was straddling his hips - hips that began rocking against her in a slow rythmic motion. When she whimpered in pleasure, he couldn't help himself and both hands gripped her ass tightly to force her to grind against him. He moaned at the sensation.

"Inuyasha I..." she tried as she pulled back for air and he shook his head before one hand shot up behind her head to guide her lips back onto his own. He couldn't let her talk. He couldn't give her a single _second_ to think about anything except staying right where she was. If he had to kiss her forever, he would. She had to stay with him. She just...she just had to. He'd almost lost her once and while he didn't remember her during that time, she haunted him. Now that he was himself again...if she left now...

It would destroy him.

"We can't..." Kagome whispered against his lips and he whined again before trying to recapture her mouth but this time she merely closed her mouth tightly. He tried again and she tried to pull back.

No. No, she couldn't go. She couldn't leave him like this. Another whine broke free as his heart broke. He'd change if she wanted him to into anything she wanted. She needed to give him a second chance to show her in a way she understood how much he loved her and maybe, just maybe, if he did she'd love him like he loved her. She'd see. She'd see he could be different.

"Don't leave me," he whimpered as he had to fight back the urge to cry. Men never cried unless someone died but if she left, a part of him would and so...so that would count right? He whimpered again as a tear broke free, "Please don't go home."

"Wait, what?" Kagome breathed as she blinked at him. The flush in her face slowly fading at she reached up to wipe away the tear, "Why are you crying? You never cry."

"You can't go back," he demanded hoarsely as he clutched her to him, "I'll do whatever you need me to do. Anything. Just name it."

Kagome blanched as he begged like a man condemned to death. What did the jewel _do_ to him?

"I'll never fight with you again. I promise," he continued as another tear slipped down his cheek, "And...and I'll tell Kikyo she can go to hell or...or...if you want to...for me to turn human so we can live in your time, I'll figure out a way, alright? I'll...I can...you just can't go."

"Inuyasha I don't want that," she tried to comfort and if anything, he looked even more desperate and heartbroken.

"Just please," he begged shakily as he buried his face in her neck, "Please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Oh my freaking god, what _was_ this? It would be utterly horrifying if it wasn't so utterly sad. He _never_ apologized. _Never_ cried. Never _begged_.

"Inuyasha I do love you," Kagome tried to explain and she felt him tense like he expected her to strike him, "I just wanted to go home because I'm scared the jewel might try to hurt everyone else who had a shard, alright?"

When he merely shuddered and held her tighter, she sighed.

"You can read my scent, right?" she asked softly and he nodded. In that moment, she tried to focus on how much she loved him. Every indecent though she had ever had. Every moment when her heart swelled and those thoughts where she wanted nothing more than to be with him forever. Slowly, his sniffles lessened and the tension melted. She felt his lips slowly twitch upwards against her skin.

"You love me," he breathed as he drug her against him and he felt her nod as she stroked his hair, "You can't scare me like that woman. I'm not that strong."

Kagome let out a morbid chuckle as she realized she always thought he had been somewhat invincible. Able to brush off every bad thing that had ever happened to him. But she'd been wrong. She was the weak point in his life.

He chuckled hoarsely as he let out a relieved sigh.

"So all that time you thought I was your wife?" Kagome cooed and he nodded as he pressed his lips against her neck. One hand gently reached up to fondle his ear and he shuddered. Flinching, she tried to move those fingers away.

"You can touch them," he whispered as he rocked his hips against her, "But you can't blame me for how I react."

"So you like it after all, huh?" she teased as she fondled the neglected ear again and he moaned.

"Fuck yes," he breathed as his whole body twitched. A series of moans and soft whines followed as her other hand messaged the other sensitive appendages. Panting, whimpering, rocking against her as his hands flexed against her skin.

"I love you," he managed as he shuddered once more and pulled back. His mouth seeking hers as he guided her to the ground, "And I don't give a shit if anyone might be watching."


	5. Time-Healed Scars

** XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Inuyasha, what are you..." Kagome tried before he sealed her mouth with a long lingering kiss and began fumbling with her clothes. Pulling away, the poor miko breathed, "We can't do that. Not right now."

"Listen. Naraku's. Gone. I. Died," he huffed in between feverish kisses, "Almost. Lost. You."

"I get that but..." Kagome argued before he attempted to cut her off with more kisses. Turning her head away, she reached up to grab his hands before he successfully undressed her and groaned, "Just not right now. The jewel shards..."

"Don't care," he replied with a small pout as he effortlessly pulled his hands out of her much weaker grip and cupped her face to force her to look at him, "The jewel shards will be so easy to find. So easy. We got time."

"We can't track down everybody in Japan," Kagome huffed as she gave him a look that clearly said '_try to kiss me again and you die.'_

"You said..."

"Okay so take Koga, for example," Kagome huffed and Inuyasha rolled his eyes as he realized where this was going, "Or Shori or like how many villages. You don't think someone might have come found you to ask how the hell everyone they knew died popped back up like daisies?"

"I mean..."

"Or like the random demon or whoever going around killing people? That's not an issue?" Kagome interrupted, "What about Naraku's incarnations? Kanna. Kagura. That..."

"Okay, Okay I get it. Shit happened. Gotta fix it," he groaned as he pushed himself up to look down at her and scowled, "But I'm marking you before we do _any_ of that."

"You're going to do _what_ now?" Kagome squeaked and Inuyasha only looked more frustrated.

"Well seeing as how I haven't seen you in two years my usual scent mark ain't there anymore," Inuyasha explained as he rolled his eyes like it was obvious, "Back then it was easy to keep that up but what with you causing problems and making decisions on your own that effect me, I'm not letting you out of my sight unless you have something more permanent."

"Uh, the decision that affected you only happened because you were _dead_," Kagome groaned as she let her head fall back and tried to roll onto her side to get up. Shaking his head, Inuyasha quickly pinned her wrists down and growled, "You still should have asked me."

"What about you were _dead_ do you _not_ understand?" Kagome clipped back using his own turn of phrase against him, "What was I supposed to do? Ask your _corpse_?!"

Pinpricks of blood began blossoming on her wrists as his grip tightened.

"That's not what I mean," Inuyasha growled as he leaned down until their noses were almost touching, "_You_ don't get to decide what is best for me. _You_ don't get to decide what I want or don't want. _Ever_."

Kagome gave him a withering look.

"It wasn't like..."

"No, I don't want to hear it," Inuyasha hissed and for the first time true anger was in his tone, "_You_ brought me back just left me behind. _You_ were just going to leave without telling me _anything_. _You_ waited two years before coming back to make sure your stupid wish worked! I could've been dead all this time! You had _no_ idea whether the jewel held up its part of the bargain. _You_ might not have had a choice about whether I remembered you or not but _you_ choose to not come back. To not be part of my life because _you_ decided that was best."

Kagome paled and Inuyasha scowled.

"I didn't..."

"You sat around for years now because _you_ decided I wanted Kikyo but I went around thinking I'd found myself a wife," Inuyasha cut her off bitterly, "Do you know how _stupid_ that makes me feel?! Do you know how _awkward_ that conversation was with Kikyo back then?! But I did it because I thought...I was so fucking convinced that I told her! I _told_ her dammit but you were...you just..."

Inuyasha trailed off as he pushed back hard with his hands and sat up. His entire body shaking with rage.

"You told..."

"Don't _even_ go there Kagome. I am in _no_ mood," he hissed as he shot daggers with his eyes.

Kagome honestly didn't even know what to say. Any argument that she could make that he held some deep seeded...

"If it was true that you loved me so much, then why'd you keep following after her like a dog after raw meat," Kagome clipped back and his nostrils flared, "You almost let me die once chasing after her! _Wait_! _More_ than once you did that! And you always went when she called you! You always..."

"Yeah and you always defended every man who ever wanted you and flirted with them in front of me," Inuyasha huffed defensively, "You told all your friends in your time I was violent and beat you or some shit. You sat me all the time because you didn't get your way but sure, let's just make _me_ the villain here."

"I didn't flirt..."

"You never told Koga no!" Inuyasha snapped, "Not _once_!"

"I didn't tell him yes ei..."

"But you didn't discourage him!"

"Inuyasha that isn't..."

"Oh but it's not fair that I go see a crazy bitch who constantly threatened you and our friends and teamed up with Naraku and all sorts of other batshit things," Inuyasha snorted angrily before continuing in a mocking tone , "Because what could go wrong with pissing her off, huh? It was _so_ bad trying to show an unnatural being running on hatred and rage the same compassion you showed me? I was like her and you saved me! What was _so_ wrong with trying to save her?!"

Kagome blinked. Wait what?

"You weren't..."

"I hated _everyone_ Kagome," he groaned, "I _planned_ on killing you at first. Actively planned on it. But you changed me and I thought showing a little kindness by not flat out abandoning..."

"You really were..."

Inuyasha froze like a deer in the headlights as he realized the full ramifications of what he'd just said.

"I always...I've seen you fight. You..."

Inuyasha let out a shuddering breath.

"I couldn't really move at first," he admitted as his heart dropped, "I think...what was that word you used? Dammit. I mean it had been fifty years of being pinned to a tree unable to move? Fifty years of being unable to do anything except listen and smell the world around me. I was pissed. I would've killed everyone if you hadn't stayed. When I woke up I barely had any feeling in my arms and my eyes could barely focus and..."

"I never knew."

"You weren't supposed to," he admitted softly as he averted his slightly angry gaze. More than ever before, he hated his quick temper. Saying shit like that was a great way to convince her to stay. Good move. Really thought that one out.

"Well, yay for the beads then," Kagome half-chuckled, half-sighed. His lips twitched upwards and he glanced at her to read her expression.

"Know what? Let's just not focus too much on the past," Kagome offered hesitantly, "We both made a lot of mistakes. A lot of things were _clearly_ misunderstood. But like you said...all that matters is that we love each other. That's all that matters."

Some of anger seeped out of him as he searched her face.

"I'm sorry I didn't come back," she continued as she gave him a guilt, sad smile, "I should have."

"And sorry for...for whatever you think I did wrong," Inuyasha countered begrudgingly and Kagome arched a single brow with a bemused grin.

"_Thanks_," the miko replied with a soft snort. Inuyasha laughed softly and rolled his eyes.

"So you want to, uh, mark me?" Kagome asked awkwardly and he nodded slowly. Humming, Kagome cleared her throat before asking, "What does that entail?"

"In the past I, uh, scent marked you," he admitted with a blush, "That's why I carried you so much. And...and other things."

"Like what?" Kagome asked before her eyes widened in horror, "You didn't pee on me, did you?!"

"What? No!"

"Then what..."

"I, uh..." he tried as he blushed furiously, "There isn't a word for it."

He sighed and glared at the ground while Kagome waited for him to continue.

"It's kinda like...it's kinda like..." he tried before he swallowed thickly and shook his head "I don't know. It doesn't matter. But that's why I hated you bathing. Because it'd wash my scent off and then I'd have to get it back on you."

"So you want to, uh, scent mark me again?" Kagome asked and he slowly shook his head, "What do you want..."

"There are a lot of different marks Kagome," he sighed as he chewed his cheek, "What I wanted to do was a mark that...well that was a true bonding mark. Ya know...like you mark me. I mark you. During...well it would've been more permanent. So you couldn't leave me again. I mean in theory you still _could_ but..."

He trailed off as he looked down and began playing awkwardly with his hands. It was such an uncharacteristic motion that Kagome didn't know what to make of it.

"I'm _not_ going to leave you again," Kagome promised softly and he glanced at her before looking back down at his hands, "I mean does it have to be done during, uh, that?"

He shrugged and sighed, "Yeah in a manner of speaking..."

"_Which_ manner," she asked and he flushed so heavily his ears turned pink before muttering something so quietly she couldn't hear it.

"S'not important," he huffed as he avoided the question, "But there are other marks. Not as permanent but...but if you'll let me..."

"Again, what does marking someone the not as permanent way entail, _exactly_?" Kagome asked as she searched his face.

"Drawing blood," he admitted as he sent her a guilty look, "I've done that type of mark before. Pricked you on purpose when I was carrying you. It's...it's specific. A pattern. That's...that's what there's not a word for. Lasts until it heals."

Kagome wanted to get mad at him for doing that without her permission but she couldn't find it in her. If he really had thought they were married or engaged or what have you, he probably honestly thought he had the right to do it. Still it was hypocritical to say she couldn't make decisions without talking to him when he was guilty of the same.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" she asked in a mildly irked tone, "Didn't you just say I couldn't make one sided decisions?"

"Sango kept mentioning them to you. Asking questions," he sighed awkwardly, "I thought _she_ explained so I didn't bother"

Taken aback, Kagome tried to search her memories for those conversations but came up short. There had been a few times during their baths that had been about unknown scrapes and bruises but...

Kagome's eyes as she realized something.

"You _spied_ on us," she accused and Inuyasha cringed.

"Sometimes," he admitted as he glanced at her again, "I thought I had that right to be near you during times like that. And yeah, _sure_, I wanted to see you naked but I had that right. I spent years thinking you were my wife, _remember_?"

His tone was both defensive and hurt which had Kagome feeling tremendously guilty.

"Well..." Kagome began slowly, "Do you want to do that now?"

He nodded as he twiddled his thumbs.

"Fine. Fine," Kagome huffed exasperateldy and held out her wrist, "Go ahead."

"They don't go _there_," he chuckled darkly as he pointedly looked at her thighs and back up at her. Kagome's eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

"Wait a minute! How does that work?! What's the point is no one can _see_ it?!" Kagome challenged and Inuysha rolled his eyes.

"Gets my scent in you," he explained poorly, "It's not about the mark so much as...as getting...it's about the scent. Not the mark. The mark is just like...fuck, there isn't a word, alright? There isn't a good way to explain it. It's a possessive mark that lets other demons know I intend to fuck you but haven't yet."

Kagome wished she just knew these things so she didn't have to have this conversation. This was winning the most awkward and uncomfortable conversation competition hands down.

"How does pricking me get your scent...on me? In me?" Kagome groaned and Inuyasha cringed - his lips moving but no audible sound coming out.

"How does it..."

"I prick myself first, alright? And my blood gets in your blood," he finally admitted as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "And yeah, I knew you didn't understand but you kept flirting with Koga and the bastard came around every damn time my scent mark wasn't strong so I started doing that instead to ward him off. We were intended, ya know, and it wasn't like it...we just couldn't, uh, settle down with Naraku out there. So I did that to stake my claim. I didn't think, okay? It was stupid. There. Happy?"

Strangely, Kagome actually was. All that time he'd loved her. It made a warped kind of sense. There were moments where he was affectionate and he obviously cared for her a great deal but she'd never imagined there was a romantic reason for his behavior. Not once.

"You could've just said '_Kagome I love you'_ instead of marking me without me knowing. You know how to use words, right?" she teased and Inuyasha sent her a withering glance.

"Yeah well you could've said it too," he clipped back with a faint blush, "And not just to strangers. You never said it to me. And...and _you_ were the one who was stupid. Thinking I didn't care. I don't touch just anyone. Damn near every injury I got was from protecting you. You think I survived so long by getting injured every other day? Love made me sloppy. Couldn't focus because..."

Kagome flinched slightly at the reminder of his broken body and Inuyasha sighed heavily.

"Wait. I didn't mean..._that_ wasn't your fault," he murmured gently as he reached over to cup her chin, "I didn't die because of you, okay?"

Kagome wanted to believe him but couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Inuyasha's gaze softened as he gently caressed her chin with his thumb.

"I love you," he tried with a reassuring smile before inhaling deeply and trudging forward, "I love you more than anything, okay? Whatever happened..."

He paused and shook his head.

"Whatever happened that made you think I'd be better off without you," he continued hesistantly, "For whatever reason, just know that I need you. And I don't just say that to anyone."

For the umpteetnth time, Kagome was concerned the jewel had damaged him. Since when was he such an expert about sharing his feelings. He laughed softly and shrugged to her silent question.

"I didn't know I was any other way," he admitted as he gave her an affectionate smile, "When I got thrown back into that life, there were these people I knew so much about and I felt safe around them but didn't know why. Or I did, I guess, with the fake memories but...I figured that I must have talked to them about things. Must've shared because no one had ever...I hadn't exactly made friends before them. So I just kept at it and it got easier."

Kagome opened her mouth to add her thoughts before her eyes widened as something occurred to her. A relatively random, unrelated thought honestly but one that suddenly was all she could think about.

"Shiori," she breathed as a sick feeling swirled in her gut and Inuyasha blinked in confusion, "Her grandfather had jewel shards."

Inuyasha seemed rather taken aback as he tried to catch up.

"What about her?"

"The jewel is twisted so it could've brought him back," Kagome argued as she began getting to her feet but Inuyasha yanked her back down.

"Where do you think you're going?," he demanded softly, "I can't lose you again. You can't leave me like that again. I need assurances before we go _anywhere_."

"But Shori..."

Inuyasha's nostrils flared as her amber eyes flashed dangerously. His face contorting in thinly veiled rage that she hadn't seen since he first found out Naraku was responsible for Kikyo's death. Well, he _had_ said he'd be mad later and later appeared to be now.

"She can't wait like she's been waiting for two god damn years," he hissed as the grip on her wrist tightened, "Now you're gunna let me mark you. You aren't going anywhere until..."

Eyes widening at his sudden change in tone, Kagome couldn't do much more than gape at him as amber eyes bore into her very soul. Inuysha swore under his breath as he set his jaw and glared.

"You know what's messed up?" he ground out, "I'd trust you with my life but I can't trust you to stay in it. I need you to promise me you'll stay by my side. I need you to say it."

"Inuyasha..." Kagome sighed as she tried to get to her feet but he held firm and tugged.

"Sit your ass back down and say it," he demanded, "I don't care if the jewel tries to pull that kinda shit again. I don't care what might happen. You need to _promise_ me you won't leave like that again."

"I won't leave you again," Kagome promised as she glanced pointedly at her wrist, "Now you're hurting me. Let go."

Inuyasha's whole being seemed to relax as he loosened his grip and gave her a sad little smile.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," he murmured as he flattened his palm and stared at her redden skin, "I should'nt've lost it like that. I just..."

He sighed and shook his head before raising her wrist and placing a soft kiss against the irritated flesh.

"I know you thought you were doing the right thing," he sighed heavily as he pulled back, "You were scared. I get that. I just...I want to make sure that..."

Clearing his throat, he tried to think of what to say without getting upset again. It bothered him immensely that he flipped out like that. He was just...

"It scares me that you might leave again," he admitted as his lips twitched upwards before casting her a half-amused, half-pleading glance, "And I don't scare easy. Let me mark you. Please."

Swallowing thickly, Kagome nodded.


	6. Elephant In The Room

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Inuyasha's big shit grin was not warranted in Kagome's opinion. He'd definitely been a little too handsy when he'd marked her and had taken some _liberties_. During the few minutes she'd hiked up her kimono, one hand had indeed done the mark while the other unoccupied hand gently glided up and down her thigh. Mainly _up_. When she called him out on it, he'd all too innocently replied that it was to hold her still but he wasn't fooling _anyone_. If what he said was true, he'd done it blind many, many times. The ass groping had been because he _wanted_ to grope her ass and for _no_ other reason. For the umpteenth time, she wondered whether the jewel had scrambled his brain somehow. Maybe even threw some of Miroku's undesirable traits, Shippo's usual mischievousness and Sango's ability to express how she was feeling. Rolling her eyes when he squeezed her thigh lightly, Kagome finally had enough and thrust her skirt back down. The sudden movement didn't seem to phase him.

"That wasn't so bad, huh?" he finally hummed before he looked up adoringly at Kagome's _very_ flushed face, "That one should last a few weeks."

Yeah, something had definitely been scrambled. Since when did he look at _her_ like that.

"What?" he laughed as he patted her newly covered leg a few times and stood up with grace only he could achieve.

"Are you sure..." Kagome began shakily, "Are you sure that...that the jewel didn't change your memories of me? That's it not making you remember things that never happened?"

Inuyasha startled slightly - another uncharacteristic reaction - before he set his jaw and glared.

"What the hell does that mean?" he hissed angrily.

"I'm just saying you...you always seemed so in love with her," Kagome tried to explain, "And yet you're saying you thought I was your wife or something but you never, _never_ acted like I was anything more than a friend. You never looked at me like you've been doing today and you never talked about..."

If anything Inuyasha looked even angrier - albeit somewhat hurt.

"What the hell are you even talking about?" he scoffed as his nostrils flared, "Trust me. I'm not in love with Kikyo. I would rather cut off my dick than be stuck with her. We were literally just..."

"I know. I know but...but it just doesn't make sense," Kagome explained lamely, "So like take the rose demon. You saw Kikyo in the illusion and you wouldn't answer when I asked if you were going to go with her."

"_Seriously_? You're going to do this now?" he asked incredulously, "After everything I just said you're going to..."

"Were you going to go with her?" Kagome challenged as if that proved her point once and for all and Inuyasha gave her a patient look which unnerved her.

"I didn't tell you because yeah, in the _illusion_, I was going to follow her," Inuyasha mocked, "Which was _shameful_ because I thought you were my _wife_. Following my ex into death sounds _bad_."

"So why did you see her then?" Kagome countered, "The spell was supposed to help you find _peace_."

"Yeah well I had blood tears running down my face," he snapped sarcastically, "Real peaceful. I should do that more often."

"Then why were you crying?" Kagome pushed and Inuyasha's eye twitched.

"Oh I don't know," Inuyasha bit back, "Could it have been that I was under a spell? Gee, that doesn't sound like that's what happened at all now, does it? See this is why I didn't tell you. You always misunderstood when it came to her."

"Whats to misunderstand about you sticking your tongue down her mouth every chance you got, huh?" Kagome snapped back bitterly, "What's to misunderstand about you chasing after her and leaving me to _die_?"

Inuyasha gaped at her for a moment before giving her a disgusted glare and shaking his head.

"I'm not going to argue with you when nothing I say gets through that thick skull of yours. You're too _stupid_. Why _bother_," he ground out before setting his jaw and storming off leaving a somewhat guilty and heartbroken Kagome behind him. That came out wrong.

"Wait I didn't mean..."

"You meant what you meant," he clipped back, "Go fuck yourself Kagome.

Rolling her eyes and sighing, Kagome chased after him.

"Inuyasha wait," she panted as she tried to keep up. She _really_ needed to work out more. Had he always walked this fast?

"I don't want to hear it," he clipped back as he increased his speed and Kagome groaned before breaking into a sprint.

"Inuyasha stop," she groaned as her heart pounded like she'd just run a marathon and it felt like her lungs were on fire, "You know...I didn't..._oh shit_...I didn't...mean it ...like...that."

She came to a sudden halt and rested her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

_"I really need to work on my cardio_," she panted barely above a whisper before pressing desperately onward

He stopped and glanced over his shoulder with a sad yet adoring smile playing on his lips. Did she _have_ to be so adorable right now? His eyes narrowed in suspicion. She had to be doing it on purpose. Damn her and her little flushed face and being so out of breath and the scent of her undeserved sweat so sweet. It both made his heart melt and break.

"I...just...lost..._oh gosh_...my temper," she panted as she finally managed to catch up, "It's...a lot...to process. I'm...not...leaving."

Inuyasha turned to face her and had to bite his lip to hide the adoring smile that wanted to break free. How the hell did this woman manage to tug on his heartstrings? She looked so beautiful - her hair an absolute mess, sweat making her bangs plaster against her forehead. She'd managed to rip her kimono and she looked _so _heartbreakingly exasperated_._ It reminded him of those fights that had made him fall in love with her in the first place and the nostalgia hit him hard.

"You...just seem...so different," she continued as she swallowed thickly and wiped some sweat off her face, "And maybe...I was stupid but...you have...to understand...why... I'm _skeptical_."

The urge to smile faded as cold dread took its place.

"Can you even name," Kagome cleared her throat, "Like _ten_ times you showed me you loved me? That something had changed that _I_ didn't initiate?"

Ice began forming in his veins as he fought against the instinct to run away from the emotional and hurtful female. How could he even begin to explain without sounding stupid?

"Maybe it's different in your time," he tried weakly as he scratched the back of his neck, "That people touch each other a lot I mean. But not here and _especially_ not me."

Kagome looked slightly confused.

"I mean, you know, I was always near you. Touching you," he continued in a somewhat lost tone, "Hell, you even slept in my arms sometimes and...we would hold hands and sometimes we kissed and...I carried you everywhere. When we stopped I sat next to you and you leaned on me. Even Miroku realized._Way_ back when we first met him. He called me out on it but we'd just met him and I sure as hell didn't _trust_ him so I denied it. Demon-miko relations aren't really approved of here, ya know? What was I supposed to do? Tell the _monk_ we just met with an endless void in his hand? I already told him you were off limits and even that was probably too much. Can't go around _advertising_ when everyone and their mom wants to kill me. They'd try to kill you too."

Kagome blinked a few times as she tried to remember exactly what had been said but came up short. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"_Really_?" he snapped, "You really don't remember him saying he realized I loved you? Please tell me you're joking. See this _right here_ is why you're stupid as shit."

Kagome's face soured as she gave him an annoyed glare. Oh right. The nose thing. He was a mind reader apparently. Which just made all of this more confusing. If he'd been so good at reading her, then how the _hell _did he not know they weren't on the same page with the whole marriage thing.

"_Again_ I thought any doubt you had was about our future _idiot_," he huffed and Kagome rolled her eyes.

"But that was really, _really_ early on," Kagome pointed out, "And right after you got all pissed off about Naraku killing Kikyo."

"Well yeah, that shit pissed me off!" he countered heatedly, "Wanting to kill the bastard isn't a crime!"

"Well it kinda is actually," she teased awkwardly before sighing, "That doesn't explain why you thought we were married. You always ran after Kikyo. Right up until the end. You acted like you loved her. You never looked at me like you looked at her. Never said anything romantic or even acted any different. Sure at times I thought you were hitting on me but you always got mad or denied it. You never even said anything to me in private. You're saying that you thought I was your wife but if that's true..."

She sighed heavily and continued in a small voice.

"It just can't be true. I think the jewel put memories in your mind that didn't happen."

As she trailed off, amber eyes widened in abject horror. In the beginning, yeah he'd been torn. Wanting both, _loving_ both but unable to choose either. Still, even Kikyo knew where his heart really lay. When she tried to drag him to hell with her, she'd even called him out on it. Kagome meant more to him than Kikyo ever did. Did that make his initial lapse in judgment better? No. No it didn't. In fact it made it worse. Even during the period where he thought they were married he still ran off to see Kikyo. Not in the same way he initially had done and not for any romantic reason but he'd still done it. Up until the end, he'd made Kagome feel second best. Trying to keep up appearances for her safety. Naraku used Kikyo all the time. Tried to kill Kagome as it was. He didn't want to make her a target and thought she understood that. But she was right and he could see her point. Sorta. He didn't treat her like he had treated Kikyo. He should've done better when they were alone. Made it clear how much she meant to him. No wonder she thought he didn't love her. To be honest, he was beginning to wonder how the hell she loved _him_.

"I..." he began thickly, "I didn't treat you different because I _couldn't_ treat you different. I thought you understood it was to protect you. I mean just look at what happened with Kikyo."

Ah hell. That...didn't come out like he wanted. While he'd gotten _better_ at talking, that didn't mean he'd mastered the skill.

"That doesn't_..._"

"I don't know what you want me to say..." he interrupted as he scratched the back of his neck, "I don't even know _what_ to say that I haven't already. I was wrong. You're right. But I know what I felt. There's _nothing_ wrong with my head."

He sighed again and looked incredibly lost.

"I can try to do better," he offered as he chanced a glance at her, "If you want. Or...or we can just forget I said anything. It's...it's your choice."

Kagome chewed her bottom lip for a moment before closing the distance between them. Gently cupping his chin, she pressed her lips lightly against his and with a soft sigh of relief he pressed back.

"For what it's worth I'm sorry," he whispered before his lips twitched upward as he glanced up at her bangs which were sticking up every type of way. Laughing softly, he tucked one particularly crazy flyaway behind her ear and added , "You need to do some thing with your hair. There's a hot spring nearby."

There was something in the way he said it that made her just know he was up to something and she had a pretty good idea what that something might be. Still, she wasn't feeling particularly generous at the moment and he'd need to do some major damage control before she let him do anything even remotely like what he _clearly_ had in mind.

"You can't watch," she informed him sternly and he smirked.

"Oh I'm _gunna_ watch," he teased. You bet your sweet ass he was. It'd been two long years since he'd seen her in all her naked glory. He was going to do _all_ the looking when she bathed. _All_ of it. Every. Damn. Time.

Kagome's eye twitched as she gave him a withering glare and he shrugged it off.

"Would you feel better if I lied and said I won't?" he added playfully and Kagome sighed.

"You're walking on thin ice mister. You really want to push your luck right now?" she warned. For a moment he seemed to mull over this before groaning.

"Fine. Fine," he pouted, "I won't watch."

Uh, _yeah_ he was still totally going to watch but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. It _had_ been two years after all. He had to consciously focus on keeping his disappointed face intact lest she realize what he planned to do. Was it probably going to end badly? Yes. Yes it was. But he lived for danger and he did warn her. _Kinda_.

"_Thank_ you," Kagome replied condescendingly, "Now where is this hot spring?"


	7. Strange Things

** sorry about delay. I've had a lot going on.**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Inuyasha had to bite his lip to hold back the moan that wanted to break free. He was pretty sure he was hidden well enough. Confidently a far enough distance away that she couldn't sense him but close enough to have a clear line of sight. That was a new skill he'd gained since the last time she was in his life - courtesy of a certain woman who made his skin crawl. It had taken some trial and error but he'd been motivated and spent at least a year perfecting the ability to hide from his fiancé. Who wasn't even really his fiancé. That was _not_ going to be fun to deal with. At all. Kikyo would probably go apeshit and try to kill everyone because she _would_. They'd need to leave her for dead last even if meant their friends would be left in the dark a little while longer.

No. That wasn't right...Miroku, Sango and Shippo needed to know what happened. What was he even thinking? But Kikyo would undoubtedly see and that...that was a thought that could be finished much, _much_ later.

Coming back to the present, a soft whimper escaped him as Kagome finished removing the final piece of her clothing. Seeing her in _all_ her nude glory made him feel like he was boiling alive in a dessert and water was being withheld. It was when she entered the water and ran her hands over her chest that he lost it with a muffed moan and his aura flared as his arousal grew to painful heights.

And then his arousal was replaced by disappointment and fear when Kagome whipped her head in his direction and began scrambling for her clothes..

"Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled angrily and he tensed.

"Inuyasha! I know you're watching! You come down here right now!" she called out again. And with a long sigh and a cringe he complied.

"I should slap you pervert" Kagome huffed as she tried to cover herself. Instead of reacting like she expected, Inuyasha leaned against the nearest tree with the most smug, confident expression she'd ever seen. Probably due to the fact she hadn't actually slapped him for spying on her naked and the fact he thought he had the right to do it anyway.

"Well now _that_ might turn me on more and then what would you do?" he teased as his confident grin grew and Kagome turned a deep crimson.

"What?" she finally blurted as she gave him a mortified once over and his confident expression faded into annoyance.

"I'm flirting with you stupid. Flir-ting," he pointed out as he set his jaw, "But maybe you're really that dumb. Let me explain in small words. I want to fuck you. You're already naked. Let's do this."

"I said no," Kagome huffed and Inuyasha raised a single eyebrow.

"No. You said '_not right now_' because we were in the middle of an open field," Inuyasha pointed out as he glanced around, "This is more secluded."

"Well I'm saying no now," Kagome huffed defensively, "And I'm mad at you. I specifically told you not to watch and you told me you wouldn't."

"Fair," he snorted but didn't move or even seem disturbed by this, "It's just me. Your husband. I don't see what the big deal is."

"Well up until about an hour ago I didn't even know you loved me or that I had a husband so there's _that_," the miko spat acidly, "I'm still processing."

As the scent of her baffling uncertainty, Inuyasha blinked a few times before groaning and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Woman nothing is wrong with my head," he sighed heavily, "I'm not confusing anything. I do love you. This isn't…"

"How would you even _know_?" Kagome pointed out and his exasperated look increased.

"Fine. You want me to act like we're not together. Fine," he huffed, "Forgive me priestess. I seem to have lost my way. Let my gross half-breed ass show itself out."

"Oh my god! I never said that and you shouldn't...wait, where are you going?" Kagome groaned as he spun on his heel and stormed off, "Inuyasha come back."

"No!"

"For the love of...," she groaned as she quickly and haphazardly began putting her clothes back on, "You're acting like you're five."

"Five year olds don't get hard ons Ka-go-me," came his semi-distant retort and she snickered despite herself. Finally fully clothed, she began chasing after him which was difficult given her extremely battered kimono and incredibly uncomfortable shoes.

"Look I'm just worried," she called out and she heard him snort from a little distance ahead. The fact that he wasn't running told her a lot. Namely that he expected her to follow him after that comment. Being completely childish and irrational and rude and manipulative and...

"_You're_ the one acting like I'm crazy! Don't act like I'm the one in the wrong here," he huffed as he suddenly came back into view with his arms folded tightly across his chest. Oh, right. Scent. Or mind reader. Actual abilities unclear.

"If you could _always_ read me so well why didn't you act like it," she hissed, "Don't act like I should've known you thought we were married! Don't act like this isn't shocking!"

"Not my fault you're _blind_," he spat, "_Or_ stupid. How many times do we need to go over this and besides why would the jewel plant that in my head, huh? It obviously wanted to erase every memory of you. Why would it suddenly decide that I love you now? That makes no sense!"

"How am I supposed to know? It's an evil, twisted jerk that only cares about survival apparently," she hissed, "Maybe it needs to be whole again. I don't know!"

"That's stupid! Now that you know you can just wish it disappeared and it'd be gone forever! Besides in case you forgot it tried to torture me to death to prevent me from remembering," he hissed as she continued coming closer, "_Obviously_ it didn't want us to get back together!"

Kagome sighed heavily, "Yeah but it also told you to marry Kikyo so…"

"And what does that tell you? I hated it," he snorted, "She wanted to purify me! She treated me like a dog! Tried to manipulate me at every turn!"

"Well I'm sorry but…" she began heatedly before trailing off at his bizarre reaction. It completely shocked her when Inuyasha suddenly laughed and a lazy grin grew on his face.

"God I missed this," he hummed happily as he gave her an affectionate grin, "I always loved fighting with you."

"Asshole," Kagome huffed and his grin widened.

"I do love you," he promised, "If you want to wait this out and make sure, I get it. At least now I've got talking down. That's an improvement, right?"

"That's the weirdest part honestly," she sighed, "Just...you're acting so…so _different_. I don't know what to do with that."

Inuyasha's smile faltered slightly as he tried to decipher her scent. Did that mean she wasn't sure she loved him anymore? Because he was different? Was he too different?

"You don't know what to do…" he repeated in a slightly worried tone, "Are you wanting to...to make sure you still love this version of me?"

"Don't be stupid. I'd love you even if you turned into a toad," she huffed and he inhaled deeply before giving her a lopsided grin.

"Can't fuck a toad though," he teased and earned a withering glare.

"Is that all you think about? Sex?!"

"A lot of the time yeah," he snickered, "Can't even begin to tell you how many times I had to take care of myself over you."

The spike in her scent was worth the price of his admission and his slightly declining erection came back full force.

"You're unbelievable!"

"Thank you. I'd like to think of myself as someone so amazing that you can't believe I'm real."

"Aren't you _witty_," Kagome clipped back as she eyed him speculatively, "Listen I just need some time to get used to...you being Chatty Cathy, okay?"

What a weird thing to say but there was a strange undertone that followed and it didn't take a genius to figure out what was bothering her.

"You always loved that I only really trusted you, didn't you?," he asked quietly, "That I was only open with you. That's really the issue, isn't it?"

Kagome blushed heavily but didn't deny it.

"I did like that," she admitted, "But I'm also happy that you seem to be happier now. That you weren't alone. And that isn'r...

"During the two _years_ you were gone," he snorted with a slight bite, "I'm _still_ not over that, you know. That wound's still fresh."

"I know," Kagome groaned, "I only did that because I was afraid the jewel might…might kill you again or something."

"Guess it's the thought that counts. Could've been dead for all you knew."

"I already said I'm sorry. We've already talked about this."

"Well if you're going to be doubting that I love you, I can doubt your motives," he countered pettily, "Maybe I'm over here worrying that you love me. Didn't think of that, did you? You're not the only one believing everything they knew was a lie. That this isn't real. If anyone is hurting right now, it's me. You got what you wanted. Stop playing the victim. It's getting old."

Kagome had the good grace to look ashamed.

"Inuyasha I…"

"Listen I'm trying to do what you want," he interrupted quietly, "Trying to figure out what you want. But if me being open and affectionate _isn't_ what you want, what is?"

"What?"

"What I was doing _obviously_ wasn't enough and this is too much. How do you want me?" he sighed heavily as a blush grew on his cheeks, "Whatever you want me to be, I'll be. I can't lose you again Kagome. I want you to be my wife and...and you don't…"

Nostrils flaring, he looked slightly heartbroken as he finished in a very defeated tone.

"Your scent says you don't want that so I'm trying to convince you that...that I'd make a good husband. I just..."

How was it that he could go from smug and confident to insecure thirteen year old boy so fast? He looked so frazzled and unsure. Probably because he was feeling the same whiplash as her. He was right. Yeah, she was trying to handle the knowledge that he loved her but he was trying to cope with losing his wife. Maybe even grieving that loss and desperately trying to get back that feeling of security he'd apparently been feeling during the quest.

"I've always been yours. You don't need to ever worry about that," Kagome began slowly and he seemed to relax, "It's that I'm worried this isn't real. I don't want to get my hopes up. This is brand new to me but I don't want you to change."

"So...so be my old self?"

"The guy who _didn't_ look at me like I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen? I don't want that either," she admitted, "It's just..._different_. I don't know how to react."

"I should've done better. Like I told you, I just...back then I wanted to make sure you didn't become a target," he tried, "You were always affectionate and doting. I thought I was too. I just wasn't good at it then apparently. I didn't know how."

"How do you know now?"

"I've been living at a human village," he explained softly, "In the jewel shard life, everyone seemed to just accept me. Which...which didn't strike me as odd. So I learned I guess. Saw what other couples did. Was jealous what other couples had because I wasn't happy with what I had with Kikyo. So maybe I daydreamed a little about how it'd be if I was with someone I actually loved then here you come again. No Naraku. No fight to the death. No engagement to a creepy controlling bitch. I was suddenly free and clear to act on those dreams. Maybe...maybe I got carried away. Moved too fast."

Kagome smiled faintly that at least part of the life she'd forced on him wasn't awful.

"No it wasn't. Honestly the only part that sucked was Kikyo," he answered her thoughts and she wrinkled her nose at his mind reading abilities.

"Listen if I need to slow down I will," he offered but Kagome could tell that tasted bitter on his tongue, "But I did love you. I do love you and I did think we were married. That's not the jewel talking I swear on my mother's life."

For a moment, they were silent until Kagome crossed the distance between them and placed a long lingering kiss on his lips. Eagerly returning this token of affection, Inuyasha hummed happily in the back of his throat before she finally pulled back.

"Just give me a few days as an adjustment period," she asked gently, "And then we can act out all those dreams."

"_All_ the dreams?" he asked hopefully as he pulled her hips tightly against his so she could feel the full length of his arousal and Kagome blushed.

"Okay maybe not all."

"We can sleep together though, huh?" he offered as a half-way point, "You know _cuddle_ and stuff?"

"Never in a million billion years would I have ever thought those words would come out your mouth but...but yeah. _Sure_. We...we can, uh, cuddle."

"I'll take it," he laughed once before dipping down to kiss her again.

_Yeah_...she definitely needed an adjustment period. This was getting weird.


	8. Checks All The Boxes

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"We should probably make camp here," Inuyasha sighed uneasily as they stared at the unfamiliar village in the distance, "I'm not sure they'd be welcoming."

"Since when do you care? Even when it was just us, you didn't care," Kagome asked curiously and he blushed.

"I know."

"So, what's the issue?" she pressed as she began walking towards the village, "We need to buy new clothes anyway."

Inuyasha sighed again and followed. It wasn't so much that he _cared_ what random villagers thought of him. It was that it had been some time since he'd had to deal with it. Since he'd been in a village that didn't know who he was. In this world, where the jewel shards had changed everyone's worldview, he was respected. It had been a long, _long_ time since anyone acted like he was there to kill everyone. Which never struck him as strange until now. Looking back, that should've been the _first_ clue that something wasn't right but maybe because he'd desperately wanted to feel normal for so long his mind purposefully ignored the weirdness of it all. And now...now...

The rude awakening that Kagome hadn't actually been his wife was already one shock too many. With their relationship uncertain, he wanted to avoid any reminder that life with him would be difficult for the time being. Who knew how this village would react. He wasn't used to entering strange villages without all of his friends or, at least, most of them. Not anymore. In the two years Kagome had been gone, literally every village they visited had called for them or had some connection to the demon slayer's village. They _knew_ he would be coming along as part of the package deal. Sure, in the '_journey'_ – either quest real or imagined – they'd encountered a few hostile villages but again, their group entering said villages had always been for a reason not just….hey we need _one_ room and we know it looks like something is going between you two because it _totally_ is. It had been because Miroku sensed an ominous presence, there was a demon nearby, or they'd been hired. They'd never really been just passing through and if they _were_, it was always as a pack. One half-demon surrounded by people whose life work was to kill his kind posed no threat. Now he was a half-demon accompanied by a strange disheveled woman in torn, beat up clothes that clearly didn't belong with him and acted like she knew it too. Her whole attitude towards him was awkward and forced. Any rational person would assume the worst. Why wouldn't they? That's what he was assuming at this point as well.

"Kagome slow down," Inuyasha finally huffed as he rushed forward and grabbed her wrist, "I _really_ don't think…"

"Inuyasha-sama! Kagome-sama!" a boisterous male voice suddenly called across the clearing as a middle-aged man came rushing towards them – wiping his hands on a cloth as he went, "It has been far too long."

"What the fuck…" Inuyasha breathed as he cast a worried glance at the miko who seemed equally stunned.

"What brings you to our village this fine day?" the man asked happily.

"You know who she is?" Inuyasha asked skeptically and the man looked rather confused.

"Should I not?"

"No, no that's not what he meant," Kagome chuckled nervously, "It was just so long ago. We're just surprised you remember."

"You two are very difficult to forget," the headman chuckled with a warm smile, "Its not every day that a miko and a half-demon come into a village."

"Right..."

As Inuyasha looked to Kagome for answers, the miko herself tried to go over in her head exactly what her wish had been and figure out why some people remembered her but not others. No one should have remembered, right? Wasn't that the price?

_'No one brought back will know your name. No one brought back will ever know you even existed. This is the price you must pay. To be forever forgotten and replaced by another.'_

Oh stupid jewel playing word games. Not being consistent. What did that even mean? She'd thought she'd known but _apparently_ this was just another thing that had gone completely over her head.

"Did anyone in your village die last time we were here?" Kagome addressed the headman who cast Inuyasha a surprised glance while shaking his head. Kagome could almost _feel_ Inuyasha bristling behind her.

"No. You managed to slay the demon with no causalities," the headman informed her before sighing and giving them both a kind smile, "I know that battle must have been so trifling you don't remember it well. I believe you called the demon weak despite the damage it caused."

Inuyasha blushed uncharacteristically and fidgeted. That was probably - no definitely - something he'd say. Just dismiss the damage. Probably act like it was a waste of his time and now, ironically, this village was probably the only group in existence that knew Kagome existed. Something outside of his mind that confirmed what he already knew to be true.

"Did the demon that attacked you have a jewel shard?" the miko asked and the man cocked his head to the side. Meanwhile, Inuyasha was giving her some major exasperated side-eye.

"I don't understand the question," he admitted as he looked even more confused, "I've never heard of such a thing. Should it have?"

"No, no, I was just trying to place the memory," Kagome smoothly lied as Inuyasha continued to stare at her with somewhat hurt and confused eyes, "We're merely passing by and need a place to sleep tonight."

As frustrated as he was that the miko seemed to be playing twenty random questions, the hurt that someone had been granted the luxury of remembering her while he'd been stuck in the dark stung more than words could express. That someone knew while he was forced to forget. And why the hell could he not have come by here before hand? Would that have made a difference? Given him some answers in advance? The man gave him an appraising look that had his gut falling and the scent said the rest. This asshole knew their relationship dynamic had...

Sniffing once, Inuyasha's face relaxed and his amber eyes grew wide.

Had _not_ changed. Their relationship hadn't changed and the man was _pleasantly surprised_ it hadn't.

This son of a bitch _knew_ they'd been together. Not as friends but _romantically_. Maybe it wasn't _his_ memories the jewel had changed but Kagome's. Maybe...maybe things _were_ the way Inuyasha had known them to be and Kagome was just as much a victim as he had been. The jewel messing with her to trip them up. To keep her from returning! That had to be it. It was the _only_ thing that made sense. Kagome didn't remember the truth because the jewel changed her memories of him and replaced the feelings he'd had for her by convincing her that...

A smile played on the half-demon's lips as the man turned towards the village.

"We do have a spare hut available," the headman informed them as they followed behind, "It appears you are in need of clothes, priestess. I can arrange for someone to bring some later, if you want. We are much indebted to you both. If you need anything during your stay here, please let us know."

"That would be appreciated," Kagome hummed before jumping slightly when Inuyasha suddenly gripped her hand . Staring down at their joined hands with disbelieving eyes and back up at his weirdly relaxed face, she couldn't understand this reaction at all.

"What are you doing?" she hissed and he snorted.

"Bastard _knows_ we're married. _Knew_ we _were_ married and he's actually _happy_ we're still together," Inuyasha informed her barely above a whisper as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "See? I _told_ you that's how things were."

"He didn't say…oh. Right. Scent powers or whatever," Kagome muttered with a roll of the eyes. Inuyasha snickered _'scent powers'_ under his breath before giving her an adoring side-eyed glance as she continued, "Seriously do you know how useful that could've been if you had just admitted you could do that earlier?"

"Not my fault you guys don't listen when I talk. I don't know how you never noticed before anyway," he teased happily, "What made you think I wasn't smart enough to figure out what scent meant what?"

Rolling her eyes, Kagome gently squeezed his hand back by means of apology before she made a soft confused sound.

"Does Koga know who I am?" she asked curiously and Inuyasha gave her a strange look before he answered, "I doubt it. I've seen him a few times and he never even mentioned you. He thinks Miroku and I saved his tribe way back. Teams up with us on occasion. Why do you ask?"

"But all the wolves that were killed are back?" she clarified and Inuyasha nodded.

For a moment, they continued walking through the village in silence before Kagome gasped softly.

"I think…I think I figured it out. The jewel could only affect people who knew someone who _died_," she whispered and Inuyasha furrowed his brow, "That's why this village remembers us. No one died. No one had to be brought back. And no jewel shards were even involved and neither was Naraku."

Inuyasha had to admit that made sense that someone had to die for the jewel to have power over them. Like a certain someone thinking he'd hated her or some shit. Inuyasha was _totally_ on board with this theory.

"That makes sense."

"It played word games," Kagome admitted, "But it said_specifically_ no one brought back would remember me and that it'd replace me with someone else. Koga must think you and Miroku saved his tribe from the birds of paradise. You all replaced me with Kikyo. I wonder who replaced us in Shiori's village."

Yup, checked all the boxes. Her impression of him was altered so she thought he was in love with Kikyo instead. Replacing her with someone else. Made perfect sense. Oh, this was such a relief.

"_Probably_ Shiori," Inuyasha snickered, "Who else would've been able to take her grandfather on?"

"Shiori could do barriers. Not _fight_. She was a child," Kagome groaned before startling slightly when the headman came to a sudden stop and gestured towards the hut next to him.

"Doesn't matter. At least you've figured it out," he sighed before acknowledging the headman with a slight bow that had Kagome's eyes bugging out of her head.

"Thank you. We appreciate the accommodation on such short notice."

"Its no burden," the headman laughed softly, "It's empty right now but I'll have someone bring a futon by a little later and a change of clothes."

Inuyasha gave Kagome a knowing look that clearly said _'yeah, you hear that? One futon bitch. One. Told you he knows.'_

"Thank you," Inuyasha replied as he preened a little and entered the hut with his usual cocky stride – literally dragging Kagome with him before spinning her around and kissing her.

"See I'm not crazy or messed up," he hummed happily as he pressed another chaste kiss on her lips, "That guy knew."

"That guy never said anything," Kagome insisted, "You're just wanting to see what you want to see. All he said was that he appreciated us defending the village back then."

"You just don't want to admit you were wrong," he accused happily and again, Kagome felt like she was in the Twilight Zone. This version of Inuyasha was….was just _weird_. Still Inuyasha but also just not.

"I think I figured out why you're so confused about how I feel," he continued happily as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "The jewel messed with your mind too. Replaced your memories."

"Wait, what? Inuyasha I don't think..."

"No, no it makes all the sense in the world," he interrupted as he cupped her cheeks, "Just...just try to see if there's a shard in your forehead. Focus really, _really_ hard."

He looked so hopeful and excited it broke her heart.

"Inuyasha there's not a shard in my forehead," she began slowly and he huffed in frustration.

"You didn't even _try_," he accused as anger seeped into his tone, "Kagome you had to know we were at least engaged. You _had_ to. You let me hold you and care for you and sometimes we cuddled and you kissed me and...and you just had to know. It...it just doesn't make any sense that you didn't! The jewel messed with your mind, okay? That's all there is to it and so...so once it's out it'll be fine. You'll see."

"Believe me when I say I didn't know back then. But I know now and that's what matters," Kagome soothed and Inuyasha looked even more upset.

"I just..." he pleaded miserably, "I just...will you _please _try? Just once?"

Sighing heavily, Kagome let her aura flare and tried to sense any jewel shards as he watched on with hopeful optimism. Once the shard was out, she'd realize that she'd always known how much he loved her and the fact that she'd just left him would make so much sense and...and everything would be okay again. He'd have a wife. They'd be in love like they used to be. It wouldn't hurt anymore either because all of this had just been a jewel inflicted giant misunderstanding.

But his optimism faded when he realized that it couldn't all be explained away so easily. When Kagome opened her eyes and shook her head, he tried to call the bluff he knew was the truth by pressing a few fingertips gingerly along her forehead before releasing a shaky sigh.

"Oh, well...well okay then," Inuyasha stayed numbly as his heart absolutely shattered, "I'm...I'm going to go on a run, okay? I just...want to make sure that there's no demons nearby. Won't be long."

"Do you want me to come..."

Inuyasha closed his eyes and willed away the desire to cry. All his life he'd stored all of his tears inside him. Pride and courage never letting him break down and shed them. But maybe that was the problem right now. He wanted to cry, not because he was weak, but because he had been strong for far too long.

"No, no I'll be fine," he replied as the stinging in the back of his eyes grew more pronounced, "Won't be more than an hour anyway. Besides someone needs to be here when they bring the stuff so...so it's better if you stay."

Cringing at the way his voice cracked slightly, Inuyasha quickly exited the hut and took off - not bothering to wipe away the tear that slid down his cheek as the reality of the situation finally crashed down on him. He'd hoped that she'd realize she'd been stupid. Held onto that misguided belief that maybe there was an explanation for why she seemed so confused. If he just explained, she'd smack herself upside the head for not seeing it sooner. If she really, _really_ thought about it, she'd understand. But the truth was far, _far_ worse.

She'd _never_ known that he loved her. _Never_ realized they were together. He really _had_ been that stupid. That ignorant. That _arrogant_. And...and as much as he wanted to deny it, to make the misunderstanding her problem, all of the reasons it was so hard to believe he loved her were completely understandable. He had chased after Kikyo and never even apologized. Never explained. Always treated her poorly. Made her feel second best. He never should have pretended they weren't together - even if he thought it was the easiest way to protect her. Should have at least told her something! What was he even thinking?! Of course she didn't know. He didn't use words. He just _assumed_.

A few more tears fell as he entered the tree line and increased his speed.

And now...now she thought he only loved her because she'd made a wish she thought would make him happy. Thought the jewel had broken _him_ somehow. Planted false memories of the happiest he'd ever fucking been because she honestly didn't think he needed her or loved her. Because him being _crazy_ made more sense than him _actually_ loving her. It was all he could do not to puke.

Coming to a full halt, he tried to contain his spiraling depression but failed miserably.

What was he supposed to do now? Why would _anyone_want to be with someone as awful as he'd been to her? He couldn't fix this. Couldn't take it back. Not now. Not ever. She'd _never_ agree to be his wife. Was probably just going along with this train wreck out of pity. To get back home and leave him again. After all, why _would_ she love him? Sure...sure she...she wasn't lying when she said she loved him but...

It was becoming harder to breathe as his heart struggled to beat.

He was back to square one and would have to court her - which how does one _court_ \- and hope that it would work out. Which it wouldn't because he _apparently_ never courted her before and she'd assume he was broken or crazy or...or..._just_ _**fuck**_!

It was all uncertain. It was all a crapshoot. He didn't know what would work and what wouldn't. She would always think this was a trick anyway. She'd never really believe him no matter what he did. There was no way this could ever work if she didn't trust him. And what if he was too different now? What if she discovered she didn't like him like this? Should he try to go back to how he used to be? Did he even really remember how to act like he did during the quest? He'd changed too much. Too much time had passed. This was a problem. Such a huge problem. An _insurmountable_ problem.

God what he wouldn't give to go back and do things differently. Do _everything_ differently. Do all the things he'd needed to do way back before this mess so this exact situation never happened. She would've known...should've known...

But he couldn't go back. He couldn't fix the past.

All he could do was cry.

"So running, huh?" Kagome not-so-distant voice rang out in his ears and a softly whispered '_fuck_' escaped his lips as he realized she must've seen this humiliating lack of control. Quickly wiping the tears away with his hand, he got to his feet and faced her. Well, _kinda_. He sure as hell couldn't meet her eyes and chose instead to look at the ground.

"I wasn't crying. Just had something in my eye. I...I ran into a branch," he lied like that made a convincing argument and he heard Kagome hum.

"Pesky trees," she offered as she began moving closer and he instinctively took a step back before realizing what he was doing. Running away from the hurtful female was all he wanted to do but...but he was never going to leave her again if he could help it and he could fight against the instinct. He wasn't an _animal_.

"So..." Kagome began and Inuyasha tensed, "They brought the futon."

"And that warranted _following_ me?" he hissed as a stray, traitorous tear slid down his cheek and he rubbed his face against his shoulder to remove it.

"Do you..."

"_**What**_?! It itched! I can't itch my face now?! Even _that's_wrong? _That_ makes me crazy?!" he interrupted defensively, "I ran into a tree and it messed up my face dammit. That's _all_ there is to it."

"Well it's not _that_ messed up," Kagome teased awkwardly, "And even it was, I'd still like looking at it."

Inuyasha glanced at the miko before sighing and shaking his head.

"Just go back. I'll be there soon," he ordered hoarsely as he turned and began storming away, "Need to finish my run."

"You know I still can't believe you thought we were married," Kagome hummed like she wasn't twisting the knife in his heart, "I never even acted like your girlfriend."

Groaning, Inuyasha started to head off before he got a whiff of something that had him pausing mid-step. She was being playful. _Flirty_. And...and was that...what _was_that?

"I mean, all I was doing was just being your friend," she continued coyly as she began walking towards him again, "If I knew we were in a relationship, you would've known the difference."

One his ears twitched as she moved and stood in front of him with a small smirk.

"I'm just saying you weren't getting the full Kagome experience," she hummed, "I think you'll be very pleasantly surprised how things go in a relationship I actually know about."

"I don't..."

Inuyasha legitimately forgot to breathe when she suddenly stepped forward and very aggressively pushed him up against the nearest tree. Eyes wide, Inuyasha went into even more shock when her hips were tightly cradling his own and then he _really_ couldn't remember how to breathe.

"Listen, after thinking about it, I _do_ understand why you thought what you did," Kagome explained as her fingers lightly traced his jaw, "Even in my time, it's not really normal to be touching someone all the time. But I held your hand, sat close to you, hugged you and was all around affectionate no matter where we were. And I was only that way to you. _Exclusively_."

It was so hard to hear her over his heartbeat in his ears. So hard to concentrate when she was essentially grinding into him. _So_ hard in _so_ many ways.

"I know you're not an affectionate person but you _were_always affectionate with me. As much as you felt confident to be," she continued and he gasped softly when she pressed her body against him further still, "But where you lose me is what we did in _private_."

Breathing heavily, Inuyasha found himself nodding even though he had no idea why. It just seemed like the thing to do for some reason and his mind was growing increasingly fuzzy.

"I know you're upset," she cooed, "And I've been...I haven't done anything except act like it's easier to believe you're wrong about how you feel rather than accept what you're saying."

The mindless nodding continued as his eyes fluttered closed and his nostrils flared.

"But maybe I can show you how it would've gone and then you'll understand why I'm confused."

When her lips suddenly descended on his neck, Inuyasha shuddered and his knees almost buckled. A soft moan escaping followed by a sharp intake of breath. Holy shit this was a thing people did? He'd never even heard of this thing much less seen it. Tilting his chin up to give her more access, he gently rocked his hips against hers before suddenly those lips were gone along with her body warmth.

Panting softly, Inuyasha tried to find his voice as amber eyes stared at her with newfound understanding.

"After you finish your run, maybe I can show you what I..."

"No, no, no," Inuyasha breathed desperately, "_No_. I'll...Ill come with you now. Who needs running? I.."

"Good," Kagome hummed - her face doing a good imitation of a ripe tomato as she cleared her throat, "Like I said. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to find out you were wrong."

Inuyasha nodded eagerly and followed when she turned back towards the village.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Deep within the cavernous mountain, a giant white chicken-like creature sat amidst a torrent of blue flames. As her daughter continued to report her findings, the creature's green beak strangely pursed into a small scowl.

"So another is seeking shards," the elderly fowl crooned as her daughter nodded affirmatively, "This may present a problem."

"It's merely that weak half-demon and his human companion," Abi reassured her mother as she pet one of the flaming birds which had landed on her shoulder, "Even if they seek the shards once more, it is no matter. The more shards they collect, the less work my birds must do."

"Perhaps," her mother crooned as she cracked open one giant yellow eye, "We will merely need to tread carefully. Not bring attention to ourselves. Our brethren are worth the inconvenience."

"So you're proposing to ignore the boy and his pet?" the black haired red eyed woman asked skeptically.

"Not remotely. Merely that I doubt they remember we exist. I imagine they are arrogant enough to consider our lives of the lowest priority and will not seek us out for quite some time - if ever. What I _am_ saying is that every man has a weakness and that pet is his," Tekkei mused, "Use your network and fetch her for me once they have collected their fair share of shards. The boy will exchange the shards collected for her life."

"Will he now? What makes you so sure?" Abi snorted softly before rolling her eyes and sighing, "All I'm saying is that from my very limited experience in dealing with these two, he value shards above lives. I would place my bet on the pet handing over the shards long before I expect the same of the half-breed."

"You are young my daughter. You are ignorant of the weakness of males," Tekkei hummed knowingly, "For the time being, we shall wait. When the time comes, we will take the human girl, the boy will come and the jewel shards will be ours."


	9. Are There Rules?

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Inuyasha yawned and snuggled a little closer to his woman - his arm flexing subtly from where it lay draped across he waist. All that time they could've been doing this. He could've been holding her like this and kissing her senseless. Maybe if he had been doing this they could've advanced to a fully physical relationship by now too. _But_ he hadn't. Like the idiot he was, he assumed that...that...

He sighed softly as he buried his nose just under her ear. To be fair, how was he supposed to know _this_ was within the realm of possibilities? Sure he believed they were _married_ but public displays of affection weren't really common in this era. And it wasn't like he was a touchy person. Sure they'd cuddled - not like this of course but it'd happened - and he made it clear that they were a thing. Kinda. Okay so _maybe_ he'd royally screwed up here but honestly how the hell was he supposed to know what he was doing? How things were supposed to be like? If he has any weaknesses it was in the socialization department. Their quest was the first time he'd ever hung around with humans since he was a child. And a young child at that.

Inuyasha ran one foot against the bottom of hers and let out a happy sigh.

Okay and he knew most men at least made proclamations of love but...but he wasn't...he always thought...he didn't think he _needed_ to do that. Kagome knew he was a man of action. His actions screamed love and devotion dammit. Every moment of every day revolved around _her_. Time and time again he showed god and everyone that her well-being and safety _always_ trumped everything else. _But_ that apparently caused problems. He didn't do and wouldn't've done things like cuddle or kiss because her ability to see shards _already_ made her a target. Their enemies would use her against him. Hurt her to hurt him. They knew he'd do anything - including _die_ \- for her. So, he'd held himself back. Every time he thought about kissing her fear that someone would see and know terrified him. Even when they were in the future he worried that maybe, just maybe, Kagome wasn't the only one who could travel back and forth. Sure, the well sent Kagome to his era but that didn't mean in a hundred years it couldn't send someone else to a different point in time. Before or after didn't matter. Maybe there were dozens, if not _more_, time traveling beings who just came and went as they pleased. Beings who hated him or hated her. There was no way to know if someone was watching. Absolutely no way.

All of which was stupid in retrospect. All reasons for keeping Kagome at arms-length completely and utterly idiotic. All that line of thinking had gotten him was a woman who had no idea he loved her and who left him behind thinking he'd be happier without her in his life. It wasn't like Kagome had left him to hurt him. She'd done what she did to save him and everyone else who…who…

No that couldn't be right. Not everyone who had been brought back had a jewel shard. How many times had Koga's tribe been attacked by the birds of paradise these past two years? Inuyasha was _pretty_ sure they'd killed _all_ the birds way back when and that raised a whole bunch of other questions that had no answer. Was there a degree of separation from a jewel shard that made some people saved and others not? If so, how many degrees were they talking about here? Running down a list of every villain he could think of that was in any way related to a shard, Inuyasha felt his stomach churn at how many of them Miroku, Sango and him had encountered just within the last _year_. Some of which had to know about the jewel shards. There was no way they didn't. And if so many of their enemies were brought back, did that mean _Naraku_ had been brought back? What were the rules here? _Were_ there any rules? What the hell had Kagome actually wished for?!

"What's wrong?" Kagome yawned as she snuggled deeper into his embrace and gently trailed her fingers up and down his arm.

"What exactly did you wish for?" Inuyasha tried to ask as neutrally as he could – his arm tightening around her waist as he tried to stay calm.

"You mean when I brought you back?" she tried to clarify and he nodded.

"I wished that…" Kagome sighed and furrowed her brow, "I don't remember exactly what I wished for. It was so long ago."

"You mean you don't know?" Inuyasha scoffed as he pulled away and stared down at her in mild horror, "How can you _not_ **_know_**?"

"I was _distraught_. You had just _died_, remember?" Kagome replied exasperatedly with a roll of the eyes, "But I think I wished for anyone Naraku had killed to come back."

Inuyasha's eyes widened before a soft swear escaped his lips. Kagome watched the physical manifestations of a mind going a mile a minute - his face strangely blank as he stared slightly to the side eyes moving through images unseen.

"You still have band aids and crap, right?" he breathed shakily as he began to glance around the hut like he honestly thought she might've pulled those things out her ass and put them on display, "All the stuff you had back then?"

"I mean…I didn't bring it with me," she began slowly as she tried to figure out what on earth he was thinking.

_"And I can't let you go back. Fuck,"_ he muttered barely above a whisper as he glanced at the remnants of the miko's soiled clothes, _"Okay. Okay okay okay. So maybe we can braid that into something."_

"_Why_ are we suddenly concerned about Band-Aids?" Kagome asked curiously as she propped herself up and Inuyasha uncharacteristically bit his lip in a blatant show of nerves.

"Naraku killed a whole lotta people," Inuyasha replied after a long moment as he got to his feet and anxiously looked around, "Powerful people we couldn't defeat on our own. Like _Kaguya_ for example."

"We could've beaten Kaguya _and_ we don't know that she was brought back," Kagome muttered before sighing and following his gaze, "_But_ you want to have a failsafe. Just in case."

Inuyasha nodded and quickly crossed the room to gather up what was left of her ruined modern kimono.

"Not just for her. For _everyone_," Inuyasha muttered distractedly as he began to rip long thick strands out of the fake silk, "We _know_ who they are. We _know_ their fighting style. We can prepare ahead of time. Before its an issue."

"If they haven't caused problems in the last two years…"

"Oh, some of them have _definitely_ caused problems," Inuyasha chuckled shakily as he continued ripping apart the modern outfit, "We've killed some while you were gone but not all."

"We can deal with it in the morning," Kagome sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "I'm sorry that I didn't narrow it down, alright? I realize I could've been more specific."

"I'm not mad," he reassured her as he held up the pieces he'd been making in turn to compare lengths, "You did what you did because you loved me. Can't complain about _that_. I'm just saying we've got to be prepared."

Trying not to make light of the situation, Kagome merely opted for giving him a patient look. She wanted to say that ever since he remembered who he really was, Inuyasha honestly didn't care who'd been brought back. _All_ he cared about was having sex and making sure she couldn't leave him again. That was literally the only thing on his mind. His number one priority. That and trying to convince her she was stupid. Inuyasha cast her a quick glance and a somewhat anxious half-smile.

"I know what you're going to say but I didn't realize then what I realize now and _now_ I want to be prepared," Inuyasha shushed her before separating some of the longest strands into two, "We need to be wearing something from your era just in case Kaguya is out there and tries to stop time again. Do you know how to braid?"

"I mean _yeah_," Kagome sighed as she extended her hand and quickly half the pieces of fabric were deposited in her hand. Much to her surprise, the remainder was kept by Inuyasha who quickly began sorting the pieces out in threes.

"Wait do _you_ know how to braid?" she asked before her eyes widened in surprise when he quickly and nimbly began to do just that. In a much neater and tight pattern than she could ever hope to achieve. After he finished the first braid with a perfect knot on one end and a loop on the other, he paused and blushed under her gaze before clearing his throat and picking up the next bundle.

"I was on my own for a long time," he explained as his blush deepened, "Sometimes I had to make my own rope."

"You're making _bracelets_," Kagome commented with a soft smile and Inuyasha shrugged.

"Bracelets are just tiny ropes with knots at the end," he replied dismissively – blush still present and in full force, "That's all."

Glancing up at her, his heart melted slightly at the adoring look she was giving him. While his eyes maintained that view, his fingers moved on their own as he quickly completed a second bracelet and set it down before moving onto the next one.

"You could make money selling those," Kagome opined as she got started on her first while he finished his third, "Make them with pretty colors and people would line up to buy them."

"Maybe in your time but not here. There are better things to spend money on," Inuyasha chuckled before flat out snorting and plucking the cloth from her hand, "Give it here. You're not doing that right. Its too loose."

Holding up her hands, Kagome watched with a somewhat bemused smile as he continued his work. In less than five minutes, they had roughly ten bracelets. Ten pretty much _identical_ bracelets. Surprisingly enough, his work was impeccable.

"I'm very impressed," the miko laughed softly as she picked the prettiest one and began to fasten it around her wrist. It was a little loose but not overly so.

"We just need to be prepared," he muttered as he fastened his own and averted his eyes. Kagome still knew him well enough to read between the lines. It still wasn't about saving the world. This sudden panic was about making sure _she_ survived. That he didn't lose her for good this time.

"I've been shit at deciding what goes without saying recently," Inuyasha sighed as he crawled over and pushed her back down on the futon. His body spooned her a moment later and he wrapped one arm tightly around her waist, "So I'm going to say it right now. In the event I die this go 'round, when you bring me back you are _not_ allowed to leave. No matter _what_ stupid deal you make."

"How are you so sure I'll bring you back?" Kagome asked half-teasing, half-serious as she snuggled into him. A happy sigh escaped her as he buried his nose into her neck and pressed a kiss at the base.

"Because you always save me," Inuyasha mumbled tiredly against her skin, "_Always_."

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"You really think Inuyasha might leave her?" Sango whispered excitedly as she did a happy wiggle underneath the light blanket while her husband gave her a slightly chiding look.

"I will not presume to know what Inuyasha may or may not do," Miroku laughed softly as he tucked a stray hair behind his wife's ear, "All I know is that he believes this girl may be the one he sees in his dreams."

"So what's this girl like?" Sango asked with a slightly inappropriate grin, "Does she have a heartbeat? A _soul_?"

"_Sango_," Miroku huffed in a chiding tone, "Lady Kikyo has been nothing but amiable."

"If you call treating our friend like dirt amiable then yes, she has been _so_ kind," the slayer scoffed, "If I have to hear her give another lecture about phrases she's too stupid to understand, her head may become amicably acquainted with my Hiraikotsu. "

"She is not as well traveled as we have been. These phrases that bother her are not common in this area," Miroku argued gently, "Regardless, as of this moment, Inuyasha is betrothed to her and for that reason, we must..."

"But he doesn't _want_ to be," Sango interrupted before letting out a frustrated groan, "Inuyasha just...he gets these _ideas_. Gets it into his head that things are a certain way and never questions it. Do you know he once told me he doesn't even remember how their relationship ended? That he _barely_ remembers their relationship other than there _was_ one and that it ended _badly_. For all we know she betrayed him and he simply forgot the details. Got it into his head that it was his fault or something and marrying her is how he thinks he can make up for his mistake. _That_ would explain everything."

"Perhaps. That explanation does make a morbid amount of sense. Kaede confided in me recently that Kikyo wishes for him to become human and Inuyasha didn't deny it," Miroku admitted thoughtfully, "Guilt _would_..."

"_Excuse_ me?" Sango breathed in mild horror as she searched her husband's face, "And you're _still _defending her?! You told him that would be an insane thing to do, right?"

"Inuyasha isn't a fool. Its most likely a misunderstanding. Surely Kikyo would never do such a thing," the monk countered uneasily, "That would be madness."

"You're always like this," Sango accused playfully as she lightly bopped his shoulder, "You always want to assume the best in people."

"To be fair I _am_ a monk," Miroku interrupted defensively and Sango gave him a skeptical look that had him biting his tongue.

"Kaede is a child but Inuyasha would _not_ make something like that up. If it wasn't true he'd deny it outright," she continued as she gave him an imploring look, "He is many things but a liar is not one of them."

"It is far more likely Kaede misunderstood and Inuyasha...Inuyasha would never agree if it is true. It could all just be a child's ramblings," Miroku argued weakly, "After all, the process would likely kill him. No one would be foolish enough to attempt such a thing on someone they loved. I was merely thinking out..."

"Unless she doesn't _actually_ love him," Sango countered, "Which is what I have been saying this entire time. There is something _wrong_ with her. With their whole relationship."

"All the more reason to stay," Miroku replied, "Until Inuyasha had made up his mind, in whatever way he makes up his mind, we need to be here for him."

"You defend her and condemn her in the same breath," his wife teased as she gave him a curious look, "I don't know how you do it."

"I do not pretend to hate her as you do," Miroku hummed, "But I do value commitments and Inuyasha has made a commitment. I will defend his decision until he tells me otherwise."

For a moment, the slayer was silent as she idly played with a loose thread and chewed the inside of her cheek.

"_So_ this girl he's accompanying. You met her?" Sango yawned and the monk nodded as his lips twitched upwards, "What does she look like?"

"You'll be upset if I tell you," Miroku laughed and Sango snorted.

"She could be a three eyed green _toad_ and I wouldn't care."

"Ah but what would you say to a woman who looks _exactly_ like Lady Kikyo?" Miroku asked and Sango's smile faded.

"_Please _tell me you're joking."


	10. Wall Building Exercise

** XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

It was nice laying like this. Back during the quest, he'd thought about it and dismissed the idea in the same breath. It was too dangerous he'd told himself but would it have been?so many people took advantage of the fact that he'd put himself in danger to save her. A couple even kidnapped her to lure him out. It wouldn't have made a difference in all honesty. Most people with eyes - or at least with noses that worked- knew the truth. Except the one person it affected most. Honestly he should have just said to hell with it. He was strong enough to protect her and she was more than strong enough to defend herself. They could've faced whatever threats together. As a team. Taken precautions.

And she would've known. She wouldn't've left him behind...

Snuggling closer to Kagome's body, Inuysha let out a soft huff of frustration as he stubbornly tried to push that thought and all the bad feelings associated with it from his mind. Kagome came back and it wasn't like she left him for no reason. Stupid her reason might've been it was still a _reason_. And she had come back to check on him eventually so that was something.

Or the dreams he'd been having decided to become more elaborate. Maybe the quest and all that came with it was just something his subconscious made up for no reason. A brief reprieve from the hell that was being in a loveless relationship. One where his wife-to-be nagged him constantly and maybe, kinda, sorta wanted to murder him or something. Which maybe it would've done nothing more than turned him human but if Mt. Hakurei couldn't purify the demon out of him permanently he seriously doubted Kikyo had the power to do it. That stupid mountain's '_purification_' lasted maybe five minutes once he got out of range. All Kikyo '_turning him human_' would accomplish up was excruciating pain.

Making a slight face, it occurred to him that Kikyo, of all people, should know how much it would hurt to do what she said she wanted to do. It wasn't like the demons she'd purified died giggling. Each and every one of them screamed in agony. Why then would she even ask such a thing? An idea occurred to him but he quickly dismissed it. No, if Kikyo remembered _everything_ then there would have been signs. Kikyo was many things but an actress wasn't one of them.

His head ached as he tried to make sense of it all before giving up completely. It wasn't like any of that mattered anymore. This was real. Kagome was real. His love for her was real. This was the truth. This right here wasn't a false memory or a dream.

His arm gently pressed against Kagome's stomach to pull her closer. How would he know if this was a dream or not though? Truth be told, he hadn't slept since the miko fell back into his life even before he knew who she was. Afraid she'd disappear if he took his eyes off of her for one second. That he'd wake up and find this too had merely been a dream as it had been for the past two years. Irrational it may be but a traitorous part of his mind whispered that maybe his mind had just filled in blanks because he had been so miserable. That he'd fallen asleep and didn't know it. Stuck in a dream world where nothing made sense and wake up in a hell of his own making Thats how it had been for the past two years.

Two years of barely being able to look his friends in the eyes because he knew how much they disliked his new fiancé. Two years of his stomach churning because what the literal hell was he thinking. Two years of resignation and being in a loveless relationship because apparently his self-esteem really was that low. Two years of praying that he stayed in his dreams where he felt safe and loved and happy with some unknown blurry figure rather than wake up and face...face reality. Kagome had been gone two years. Two years where she didn't even check on him to make sure he was alive. Two years he could've been dead for all she knew and she…she didn't even think to…

Oh god _dammit_ not now. _Please_ not now. Why the hell did he feel like _crying_? It wasn't like he was a normally emotional person so _why_ was the fact he never had a wife affecting him so hard? It...it wasn't the end of the world that...that _ya_ _know_, he was one hair away from being alone again. Not really but the risk was there. Any security he felt turned to ash. Everything he'd known, he'd relied upon, his comfort, his security blanket, his home was a lie. It wasn't terrible that he didn't...that they weren't...after all, he was holding her and they'd kissed and…and…

"_Shit_," Inuyasha breathed hoarsely as he suddenly released her and scrambled backwards. Inuyasha was gone and running before Kagome could ask him what was wrong.

It wasn't…it felt like...he'd been doing so much better and now that she was back, it was like he was reverting right back to his emotional constipated ways. Which was _not_ good seeing how well that method worked last time and how he'd convinced himself he had a wife while she went around thinking he hated her or some shit. But it wasn't even the same by any stretch of the imagination. Two years of being uncharacteristically open was now rebounding back on him so he literally couldn't control how he reacted to things. At first he'd been confident but now…now it was like his heart was split right open and all the bad feelings he had been masking were coming out to play. It wasn't like anything bad had even happened. Only good things had happened. Well relatively good. God her kisses had been…

Swallowing thickly, Inuyasha launched upwards and tired to plaster his back against the bark. It was like his mind was spiraling out of control – the whiplash that everything he knew was a lie hitting him full force. It had gotten to him a little earlier before she'd distracted him but now it was crashing down on him like a waterfall. During the two years she was gone and the two years she was here, everything in his life had been fabricated. By himself. By the jewel. Nothing in his life was real. Nothing was like he'd thought it had been. While Kagome had tried to show him why she was confused and while her methods had been everything he'd ever hoped they could be, it…it…

Taking a shuddering breath, he wiped away a few tears pooling in the corners of his eyes as he tried to clear his suddenly congested nose. He _hated_ this. He didn't even know _why_ he was crying. Men didn't cry and it seemed like most of what he'd done since she came back was be a whiny little _bitch_. Stomach churning, he tried to steady his breathing and closed his eyes. Kagome was already worried because he was different now. Because he talked more and yelled less. Because he acted like…she thought he never…god when she said that he never looked at her like she was beautiful it almost broke his heart. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what she meant and that confusion made him utterly heartsick but he'd forced himself to stay calm. Sorta. Everything he was doing made her doubt him more not less. Finding him crying by himself in a tree would just make her think he was crazy more than she already did but he _wasn't_ crazy. It was _worse_. He was just an idiot. A blind, arguably abusive, utterly ignorant…

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice called out softly and Inuyasha flinched before running his hand repeatedly over his face. He still had a few minutes before she reached him. A minute to catch his breath, clean up and calm down.

Sniffling slightly, Inuyasha let out a shuddering breath as he haphazardly wiped away the stray tears which were trailing down his cheeks and dropped onto the ground right as Kagome approached. His emotional state still a little haywire but he could mask it. Just like he'd done most of his life. A life that he'd lived alone and in hiding and usually in some kinda pain because everyone wanted to kill him and so many had come close and…and…Kagome had protected him from all that. She'd…

Okay that line of thinking was not helping. He needed to rein it in. Pretend everything was alright. That _was_ something he _used_ to be good at after all. Something that had gotten him through…

"You okay? Did you sense something?"

"Thought..." his voice cracked slightly and he wanted to scream in frustration. Clearing his throat, he opted for turning away and staring into the canopy, "Thought I heard something is all."

He could feel himself closing up. The wall Kagome had torn down trying to build itself back up again and he _hated_ it. The feeling making his stomach drop sickeningly as he steadfastly refused to meet her gaze. Why was this happening now? They were together, right? She said she loved him so what was the problem?

Her hand gently scratched the back of his neck and Inuyasha subconsciously leaned into her touch seeking comfort. If his nose wasn't so stuffed up, he could read what she might be thinking. When her hand slowly trailed across his neck a soft sigh escaped him and when it cupped his cheek he had to consciously deny himself the urge to nuzzle her palm. For whatever reason he needed this reassurance right now. Needed a sign that at least part of what he'd thought back then was true. This backfired of course because whatever could go wrong was going wrong anymore. Denying the impulse did make some tears gather in his eyes and this too be stubbornly ignored. His resolve wavered with embarrassing speed and he subtly pressed his cheek into her hand as a happy medium.

"Somethings wrong," she murmured affectionately and he couldn't find the strength to deny it. This shouldn't be bothering him. He shouldn't be this weak. All he'd been since she came back was ride the world's rudest rollercoaster. Unable to think or do anything other than desperately keep her in his life. Last night, well okay _tonight_, had been the first time he'd actually remembered there were dangers other than Kagome leaving him. Things other than free will that might take her away. Was he _that_ selfish of a person? Why the literal fuck was this bothering him?!

"Come back to bed," Kagome murmured as she ran her thumb over his cheek. His nostrils flared slightly as he leaned more of his weight into her gently touch and closed his eyes. No matter how hard he tried, the centuries old skill set refused to activate and as such, his vulnerability in this moment was on full display. But after all the back and forth, it seemed redundant at this point to bring up what exactly was bothering him. What was supposed to say? I know we've been over this and I realize how stupid I was but I'm not over it yet? It sounded pathetic even in his head, he couldn't even begin to imagine how bad it would sound out loud. Everything was going so wrong. _Everything_. And was he just supposed to shrug off that she left for two years? That she didn't even...that...

"I'm fine Kagome," Inuyasha sighed heavily for lack of something better to say, "Just...just need to check on some things is all."

"Then I'll come with you," she countered and he tried to keep his expression neutral as one of his hands reached up to cover hers. If he tried to explain anything right now, he had a feeling he'd probably burst into tears for no god damn reason. Maybe the jewel did mess with his mind. Stripped away his ability to hide how he was feeling and force him to put it all on full display to drive Kagome away. To make her hate him. Leave him. Make him so different that he wasn't even recognizable. Make him someone she wouldn't love anymore. Inuyasha flinched at the thought and a nearly inaudible whine escaped his throat. What on earth was _wrong_ with him?

One of her fingers traced the dark circles under his eyes before she hummed in understanding of something.

"Have you slept since I came back?" she asked softly and Inuyasha managed to shrug indifferently without bursting into tears. That was a win as far as he was concerned.

"Because of the dreams?" she followed up and he flinched slightly but didn't reply. His cheek still cradled in her hand as he kept his eyes closed and tried to focus on staying in control. Maybe the jewel did break him but not in the way Kagome thought. It didn't want them together. It changed him fundamentally to drive a wedge between them. To make it so she wouldn't love him anymore and she'd leave this world forever. Why couldn't anything be easy? Back when he thought they were married, it had been easy as breathing being around her and now it only hurt. Every word coming out of her mouth tainting the happiest moments of his life and making him sick to his stomach.

The hand on his cheek pulled back and Inuyasha had to consciously fight to maintain some semblance of calm. _If_ she wanted him to be like he used to be, _if_ the jewel really had broken him somehow, what on earth was he supposed to do now?

"I think you're, um, not feeling your _best_ because you haven't been sleeping," Kagome cooed as she gently intertwined her fingers with his own and began leading him back to their temporary lodgings, "Come on. Let's get some sleep."

The thought of falling asleep made Inuyasha want to puke. He didn't need sleep and god forbid this was a dream and…and…

Inuyasha had to repeatedly swallow bile as she pushed back the reed mat and pulled him into the hut behind her. What was he…

"How about this?" Kagome as she sat down on the futon and gently forced him to kneel next to her, "I'll stay up and you can sleep in my lap, okay? You can just carry me tomorrow."

Inuyasha's shoulders sagged in defeat. She was talking to him like he was _five_ which meant she could tell what a mess he was right now.

"I'm...I'm fine," he croaked miserably and Kagome gave him a patient look laced with pity.

"Inuyasha look at me," she ordered gently and he hesitantly met her gaze. Once again her hand came up and cupped his face, "I love you. Nothing. _Nothing_ is going to change that. _Nothing_. But you haven't been sleeping and you look exhausted. I _promise_ this isn't a dream. I _promise_ I'll still be here in the morning. I will never, _never_ leave you again."

Inuyasha gave her a weary look before averting his eyes and playing with his hands.

"What if you were right? What if…what if the jewel did break me? I can't…" he let out a shuddering sigh and shook his head, "I'm not normally like this. Even…even in the life I thought I had I wasn't. I'm just…"

"Tired," Kagome laughed softly as she continued stroking his cheek, "You haven't slept in almost four days and you've had a lot thrown at you in a _very_ short period of time. That would make _anyone's_ brain melt. Now come here."

Biting his lip, Inuyasha cursed himself and his stomach churned even more. Rolling her eyes, Kagome gave him a sad little smile before crawling over and pushing him lightly onto his back. Laying out next to him, she gathered his body closer and pushed his head onto her chest – one hand gently massaging his scalp while the other gently adjusted his arm so it lay draped across her stomach. She could feel his jaw jumping and anxiety was radiating off of him in waves. It was still surprising to her how open he was being, how vulnerable but maybe having the jewel rip part of your life away, implanting new memories and then having everything crash together at once scrambled the brain a little. Well more than a little. He was frightened and heartsick and confused but most importantly, he loved her. That strangely she _didn't_ doubt. Not anymore. It was still strange that the man she'd always thought of as invincible and stoic was just like everyone else when it came down to it was strangely comforting. Not that she thought of him as different but he'd always kept his emotions so close to his heart. Hid them from the world because if he acknowledged them out loud…

Sighing, Kagome pressed her lips firmly against his temple and in response, she felt him sink into her embrace.

"I love you," she whispered as she continued running her finger tips gingerly across his scalp – she could feel the tension slowly leaving his muscles as his breathing evened out. Every once in a while, he'd jerk and she'd feel his eyelids open – his heart beating a little faster before his lips twitched upwards and he drifted off again. She wasn't sure how late it actually was but hopefully he'd get a full night's rest rather than a few hours. If not, maybe they could stay an extra night before heading out. If they _were_ going to go on a new quest, which would take god knows how long, then it would probably be better if his batteries were charged.

A nearly inaudible snore suddenly escaped him as he nuzzled her in his sleep and one leg suddenly adjusted itself to rest partially on her own. His weight finally relaxing fully on top of her as his face went completely slack. In that moment, Kagome knew she had never seen anything that warmed her heart quite like this.


	11. Worth It Or Not

** XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

_'Stupid rain,'_ Inuyasha thought lazily as his mind struggled to make sense of what was happening. Half trapped between dreams and reality, he shifted and groaned as rain mercilessly pounded at the rooftop and a crack of thunder shook the walls. At least he was inside instead of in his usual tree which was lucky. It seemed like every single time he stayed in the home the villagers had gifted him Kikyo found some excuse to grace him with her presence. It was easier just to avoid shelter entirely to be honest. Living in trees had been his norm almost all of his life so why should…

His breath stuck in his throat as he felt something warm and soft shift under his cheek. Felt a soft hand gently stroking one ear. Heard a poorly muffled yawn and then lips pressing gently against his forehead. That scent like a warm blanket wrapping around his very soul.

He smiled.

"Kagome," Inuyasha murmured happily as his nose buried itself in her neck, "You're still here."

"I'm…" she yawned heavily, "I'm here."

"How long was I out?" he asked then as he lifted his head to look outside – the darkness the storm was causing made it impossible to tell if it was morning or afternoon.

"Almost…almost dusk," she replied in a half-awake voice, "Might've lied to you. Kept dozing…dozing off."

"I slept all day?" Inuyasha asked as he fluidly sat up and glanced at the door, "You're joking, right? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You hadn't…hadn't slept in four days. Thought you needed sleep," she murmured as she stiffly adjusted herself on the futon and rolled onto her side, "My turn."

Inuyasha laughed softly as he watched Kagome curl up into a ball and try to wiggle into a more comfortable position. It was endlessly comforting that her return hadn't been a dream despite the lingering ache in his heart. Letting out a shuddering breath, he crawled over and moved to loosely spoon her. This was allowed, right? After all, she'd just held him for almost an entire day so why couldn't he return the favor?

When she hummed and adjusted herself to fit more perfectly against his body, Inuyasha couldn't quash the happy hum that escaped him as he used one hand to move her hair so it didn't smother him. Taking the time to gently trail his fingertips down her arm before draping it lightly across her waist while his other arm wormed beneath her head.

"This is nice," Kagome hummed tiredly as she leaned into him and he let out a contended sigh.

"Sorry I didn't do this back then. Seems like…like a missed opportunity," he yawned as he suddenly felt rather tired himself. Something about her warmth permeating his body made his muscles relax and his mind slow.

"Would've been distracting," she murmured and he hummed in agreement. How could it be that he was still tired? It felt like he hadn't really slept in years and his body was trying to make up for lost time.

"Worth it though," he replied softly before he drifted off.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning came all too soon and it had taken actual effort for Inuyasha to release the woman in his arms. Stupid insecurity was still protesting any amount of distance and it was a struggle not to touch her constantly. Wanting reassurance even now that this was not a dream and that, while she wasn't his wife, Kagome did indeed love him.

"Shiori's village should be up ahead," he informed the miko currently perched atop his back where she belonged, "We'll be there before noon."

"Guess this might be a test. On my theory I mean," Kagome replied loudly as she tried to remember how to balance like shed used to. Maybe she was stronger then because her arms were protesting loudly from clinging onto his shirt.

"You mean if its jewel shards or Naraku?" he asked as he picked up speed and he felt Kagome nod. A part of him wanted to stop. He could smell her pain and her exasperation. After two years of a most sedentary lifestyle it would make sense that she didn't have the strength to hold on for long periods of time. Decision made, he slowed down to a complete stop and knelt down so she could get off.

"We can walk the rest of the way if you want," Inuyasha offered as he took one of her hands and began massaging it between his own, "I know you're hurting."

"Ah. Scent powers strike again," Kagome laughed softly as she let herself enjoy the mini-massage. Inuyasha laughed and nodded.

"Yes, the almighty scent powers," he teased as he gave her an affectionate smile, "I don't imagine you're up for that much walking either though. I could carry you a different way if you want."

"If I'm staying I need to get used to it," Kagome sighed and Inuyasha gave her a patient look before glancing down at her feet.

"Those shoes are going to give you blisters and you know it," he laughed softly as he raised a brow in silent challenge, "I'll end up carrying you anyway."

"Well I don't know where…"

"Sango's village has a shoemaker. We can stop by there after we're done with Shiori," Inuyasha interrupted softly, "Not everything you wishes for turned out badly you know. I know…I know I made it seem like that but for Sango especially, your wish was a blessing. Miroku too. You know his father is alive. Lives with Mushin."

Kagome blinked at him a few times before letting out a shaky sigh.

"Really?" she asked and he gave her a sad smile as he nodded.

"Removing the jewel shard didn't kill me so I don't imagine it would kill them either," he continued as he dropped the hand he was working on and picked up the other. Rubbing her sore flesh between his hands, he added, "Might want to knock them out first. Hurt like a bitch and I don't think everyone will take knowing they died well. Death sucked."

"Do you remember anything about the afterlife?" Kagome asked quietly and Inuyasha sighed.

"You mean during the maybe fifteen minutes I was dead?" he chuckled darkly before furrowing his brow and rubbing her hands with a little more vigor, "Not particularly."

The friction was beginning to hurt but he seemed rather distracted so Kagome didn't say anything. His nose would pick up her discomfort eventually.

"More of a feeling," he mumbled as his eyes seemed to glaze over, "I wanted something but didn't know what. Was looking for it. Cold. Sad maybe."

Shaking his head to remove the thought from his mind, he released her hand and gave her an apologetic grimace.

"Sorry," he laughed hoarsely as he cringed at her pink irritated skin, "Didn't mean to hurt you."

"No, no its fine. I was just curious. How many times do you get to ask someone that question?" she teased lightly and Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"I'm just going to carry you," he sighed as he tried to get onto a happier topic, "You can practice walking some other time."

"Okay," Kagome acquiesced as she tried to plaster a smile on her face. Given what he'd just told her, she didn't regret her wish in the slightest. Death sounded awful and terrifying. To be perpetually lost and forever searching. It sounded like hell and it didn't sit right with her that he might have been sent to a bad place when he was a good man. Sure he'd made mistakes but that wasn't an excuse to…

"Everyone dies Kagome," he suddenly murmured as he gave her a sad little smile, "It might just have been that way for me. I'm sure when you die one day it won't be that way."

What he hadn't told her is that he had a good idea now what he had been looking for and why he couldn't find it. Kagome was still in the living world and he wanted her to be with him. To be there and tell him it was alright. Or maybe he was waiting for her. Anyway, aside from the fact that his afterlife had not been the best, in a way, his death was comforting. The fact that he went anywhere at all meant he did, in fact, have a soul despite hundreds of people who told him otherwise. Whether he'd done enough bad things to banish that soul to an endless void or not was immaterial. He had a soul. Small comfort though that may be.

What he didn't know was that Kagome was not afraid of _her_ death but rather the implications of _his_. If that was going to be his future, maybe she should try to make his life as happy as humanly possible to try and make up for the hardship ahead. Instead of, you know, basically making him miserable like she had been doing these past few days.

"Its not that," Kagome replied affectionately as she reached up and cupped his cheek, "I just…what you told me made me sad. I don't like the thought of you being somewhere like that."

Inuyasha leaned into her touch and hummed in understanding.

"Well I'm not there anymore," he murmured before placing a soft kiss on her palm, "We need to get going if we want to get to Shiori's village."

"Thought we could get there by noon," she teased and he chuckled softly before scooping her up bridal style.

"Well that was before I realized you were hurting," he countered playfully, "Need to go slower so your weak little body can catch up."

"Fair."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There were defining moments in everyone's life. Little things here and there. The first time you shoot an arrow and hit your target. When you slay your first demon while your mother cheers you on. Watching your mother and father die from illness and realizing that your ten year old self was now responsible for a newborn. Watching the sister you raised shoot her first arrow. Accidentally maiming said sister. Helping a burned man in a cave. Thinking you found love only to be tricked like a child and wind up dying after you seal your loved one to a tree. Getting brought back to life. _Twice_.

Realizing there was something in your forehead plucking it out and realizing everything happening around you was a lie. Deciding to make the best of it because you had a second chance. Finding out that even though the man you love believes he's made a commitment, even though he doesn't remember your reincarnation, he was still in love with a woman he had forgotten existed. Knowing he was disgusted by you even when you were flesh and blood. Handling that situation _poorly_ instead of giving him a reason to stay.

Then one day the girl he loves drops back into your life and you have to pretend you don't know how this will go. Because sometimes its not about you. Kaede was a child again and needed her sister. A sister who might not have gotten a second chance at love but was given a second chance at being there for the sister she left behind. Inuyasha could leave for all it mattered so long as he didn't drag Kaede with him. Which why would he but irrational fears were still fears. Besides, maybe nothing would come of Kagome's return.

It didn't really matter. To be honest, this second chance had made it clear that whatever relationship she thought she had with Inuyasha at one point had been as fragile as porcelain. It wasn't love. Now or then. And she knew that. She wasn't a stupid woman. But even since she could remember, she had a feeling Kagome would one day return. Inuyasha needed to be here, in the village, when that happened.

Or at least that's what she told herself. No matter what came between them, no matter how confused or broken she became, Kikyo still loved Inuyasha. And maybe, just _maybe_, she had tried to push him away because whatever was happening was a lie. It wasn't _real_ and she didn't want…

All this time, she had hoped to snap him out of whatever spell everyone was under. Brought attention to the strange things he said that he had to know weren't normal. Revisited turning him human – which she had no real intention of doing – because maybe that tidbit would jog his memory. It wasn't until after Kagome returned and Inuyasha still didn't remember anything that Kikyo realized the spell might be permanent. Or that something else was going on. Either way she had to keep up appearances. Had to stay consistent. If Inuyasha did remember, Kikyo didn't want some mention of her name to ruin his new relationship as it had in the past. Especially now that he was truly and fully over her.

And yet Kagome had seemed so nervous. She had taken two years to return.

And that was before the fact that someone might be seeking jewel shards was mentioned without actually _saying_ someone might be seeking jewel shards. After all, despite her best efforts, for the life of her Kikyo couldn't sense the jewel shards in others even though logic dictated there must be one lodged within. It would be too much of a risk to use anyone as a test subject. After all, every single person they'd encountered – aside from herself – who had a shard removed _died_. Maybe the fact she already died twice made her different. Maybe it was different for everyone.

Sighing heavily, Kikyo continued repairing one of her kimono by the light of the fire pondering what she would do once the truth was revealed. Would Kaede turn on her? Inuyasha certainly would. As far as she could tell, he hated her now and that was before he remembered all the other nonsense she had pulled in her former life. But Inuyasha could hate her. Honestly, at this point, it was the possibility that Kaede might…

"Sister? Are you still awake?" Kaede mumbled tiredly from her futon – one hand rubbing her eye.

"Just repairing my kimono Kaede. I didn't mean to wake you."


	12. New Blood

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Fade to Black**

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

Rubbing one hand over his face, it took Inuyasha a moment to remember exactly where he was. Having the warmth of Kagome's body next to him let muscles he didn't even know he had relax. He'd even dreamed a little which was new. Shifting slightly, Inuyasha blindly reached for Kagome's small form before rocketing into full blown panic.

Sitting up, Inuyasha tried to discern by scent how long she'd been missing before his heart absolutely plummeted. Hours. She'd been gone for hours. How had he not noticed? His breath began coming out in short pants as his heart tried to break out of his chest. His nose going into overtime to try to determine whether she was at least nearby and it was a wonder his ears weren't getting whiplash at the speed they were swiveling.

"...come with you," he heard Shiori's voice murmur awkwardly and with a shuddering sigh of relief, he discerned Kagome was nearby. Of course, the little bat teenager would want to talk to the only girl she could trust in the world and want to be near people who understood her rather than stay here. Yes, the villagers tolerated her presence now but that wasn't the same as being around people who understood you and accepted you. Inuyasha would know that better than anyone.

It had been nice to learn that Shiori was indeed fine and that nothing bad had happened to her since they'd left. Whatever Kagome had wished for hadn't impacted Shiori or her home which was a good thing. This revelation did help narrow down the search a little bit insofar as the presence of a jewel shard didn't automatically revive whatever bastard had used one. Only those who had a connection to Naraku. However, given the number of individuals that Inuyasha had had the displeasure of killing a second time suddenly begged the question of who all Naraku had influenced. Some of them Inuyasha would never have believed had any connection and yet they'd been revived.

"That's so nice of you to offer but we're not even sure what we're doing," Kagome replied softly, "Besides you're still so young. I'm not..."

"I'm fifteen," Shiori interrupted defensively, "I'm not a child."

Inuyasha chuckled softly at that as he slowly made him way out of the hut and towards the sound of their voices. They were on the beach it would seem. Whatever Kagome was going to say about youth had definitely just been thrown out the window. She had fallen into his life on _her_ fifteenth birthday so she honestly couldn't say that fifteen was too young to embark on a quest.

"I know you're not," Kagome mumbled awkwardly, "But this..."

"I understand that you two are together and will want private time," Shiori began pleading desperately, "I won't interfere with that. As for my mother, she's been trying to convince me to leave anyway and then here you come on a quest and..."

"I can't make that decision on my own," Inuyasha heard Kagome scramble and he scoffed once in disgust. She seriously was going to convince him to be the bad guy? Or she thought he would be the bad guy here without her having to say anything. Frankly he felt a little offended even if there was some truth to it. If Shiori had asked him directly, he probably would have said '_no_' as a knee jerk reaction without thinking one way or the other. That being said, he was thinking about it now and well…if there had been manifestations of a useful sort then…then why _couldn't_ she join them? They'd need help and probably wouldn't be able to finish this quest on their own. A defense-oriented ally would…

"But I was going to leave anyway," Shiori continued a little desperately, "There's no place for me here. The villagers all hate me and I'm just a burden to my mother at this point. It's not like I can settle down and get married. There is no _you_ for me. At least not in this village. You met Inuyasha _traveling_. No one _ever_ comes here."

Kagome smelled momentarily confused and then heartsick. Like she had actually forgotten half-demons didn't have a place in this world. That it was, in fact, _hard_ for a half-demon to find a place to belong much less find someone to love them.

"What we're doing is dangerous," Kagome began again slowly and he could smell Shiori's unparalleled sense of defeat, "And I know you've been working on offensive attacks but..."

"Use me as defense then," Shiori argued weakly, "My senses aren't strong like his are but no one can break through my barrier and I _can_ hear _well_."

Inuyasha cringed.

"For example," Shiori continued as her voice grew a little in confidence, "Inuyasha is hiding from us two huts away."

"I already knew that," Kagome admitted and Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "He's not the only one with powers."

"Dammit Kagome," Inuyasha huffed as he moved away from the hut and began walking towards them, "If you knew I was there why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I wasn't sure she could tell," she admitted and Shiori's aura flared indignantly.

"Well then," the little bat teenager huffed as she got to her feet and brushed some of the sand away from her clothes, "If you both are done _humiliating_ me, I will just..."

"Have you ever been in a fight before?" Inuyasha interrupted her as he raised a single eyebrow, "_Killed_ someone before?"

Shiori shifted uncomfortably as she averted her eyes.

"I'll take that as a no," the older half-demon concluded, "When was the last time you aged?"

Translucent purple eyes whipped up to meet his gaze as Shiori openly gaped at him.

"How did you..."

"When?" he interrupted and Shiori let out a shuddering breath.

"About two years ago," she admitted with a faint blush, "Is that common with all half-demons or..."

"Did anything manifest when you stopped?" he continued and Shiori's eyes grew wide like her whole world was just flipped upside down.

"Defensive things? Attacks? Powers?" Inuyasha clarified and Shiori let out a shuddering breath.

"I can fly," she replied hopefully, "Make barriers as strong as the one you absorbed. I've…I've been practicing to use them as a weapon. Just in case."

For a moment, Inuyasha was silent as he gave the girl a once over before groaning and shaking his head.

"You can come with us," Inuyasha sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "But lets get one thing straight. You've got to keep up. If I say run you run. If I say back down you back down. If I say…"

Shiori nodded excitedly as she agreed to literally everything he was demanding. He could've asked her to sell him her soul and she probably would've ripped it out of her chest to hand it over.

"Uh, Inuyasha? Can I speak with you a moment?" Kagome asked nervously as she gave him a somewhat alarmed look, "_Alone_?"

Nodding, Inuyasha scooped her up and a few short leaps later they were outside of Shiori's hearing range. Or at least he hoped they were.

"_You seriously want to bring her with us?!"_ Kagome hissed, "_She's never been in a serious fight before! And she looks like she's eight!"_

"_She's not lying about her age,"_ Inuyasha sighed heavily, "_And someone needs to teach her how to defend herself properly."_

"_And that person has to be you?" _Kagome countered and Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"_Do you see any other half-demons lining up to do it?" _he clipped back.

_"That's not what I mean," _Kagome groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose, _"We don't even know if she can keep up with us? What if she can't? Do you plan on carrying her too?"_

_"If I've gotta then yeah."_

Kagome bounced one leg as she tried to figure out why Inuyasha, of *all* people, decided that he was going to bring someone they barely knew with them. Inuyasha gave her a withering glare as he folded his arms tightly across his chest.

_"It's not like you haven't done something like this. I didn't bitch when you decided we were adopting Shippo,"_ he hissed defensively and Kagome was once again reminded of the mind scent bullshit power he had, _"Why are you fighting me on this?"_

_Wait_ did he just say they adopted Shippo? As in _together_? Did Inuyasha see Shippo as his _son_ because he sure as hell never acted like it and if that _was_ how Inuyasha thought you parented a baby that was concerning to say the least. Although…although who _had_ been raising Shippo while she'd been away? She hadn't even thought to ask and Inuyasha had…he'd made a point to talk to the kit right before they left.

_"Were you raising Shippo when I was gone?"_ she asked suddenly and Inuyasha blushed but didn't admit or deny if that was the case. Letting out a long steadying breath, he ran his hands through his hand once before folding them in front of his chest again.

_"I was just…I'm trying to prove a point"_ Inuyasha huffed in frustration, _"It's not like we're adopting Shiori. We're adding a defensive warrior which is a good thing. Especially because neither of us are great at defense. And I never bitched about adding new people. You added new people all the time and…"_

_"Okay but this is different. Randomly adding someone to our group who has no dog in this fight…"_

_"There is no group. Not anymore. There is only you and me,"_ Inuyasha snapped as his nerves finally hit the tipping point and flung his mind straight over the edge.

_"They're not dead Inuyasha…"_

_"They just have no idea who you are,"_ he countered almost hatefully, _"Stuck in some fantasy life that isn't even real. Even if we do remove their shards, do you honestly think they'll want to start another endless quest? Miroku and Sango? They're trying for a baby. They're married. They're settled. What motivation do they have to do this? Shippo is a child. He shouldn't have to do another quest. He's done enough. The only reason you're on this quest in the first place is because you fucked up. I'm only on it because I want to settle down and you won't until we figure this shit out. This go around its just us so…so…"_

Deflating visibly, any anger and frustration the half-demon was feeling whooshed out of him at the look of shock then pain then anger that flooded Kagome's features. Huffing, Inuyasha anxiously ran one hand through his hair and closed his eyes.

_"Wait, shit I didn't mean…"_ he backpedaled desperately, _"I just…if you don't want Shiori to come, that's fine. I just thought…"_

Kagome's heart broke for more reasons than one. Despite his attempts to seem otherwise, the pain he felt once he knew she'd left him behind was still raw. The heartbreak that was finding out he wasn't in a secure relationship like he'd believed for years still very much there. It didn't matter that she loved him. Well it did _and_ it didn't. Although up until this point he'd never admitted as much, Inuyasha wanted a stable, secure and apparently _stationary_ relationship. He wanted to settle down, have a wife and have kids which was a perfectly _normal_ thing to want.

And then she came back like a wrecking ball to destroy everything he thought he knew and make those dreams seemingly unobtainable. Two years had passed and everyone had moved on like they would have if it hadn't been for the wish. Now that she thought about it, Miroku and Sango wouldn't want to go out on another quest like this. One that could take years. Life goes on whether you want it to or not and her friends were happy. They were trying to start a family.

Which begged the question of whether they needed to get Shippo and bring him along for the ride. Even though he was a child who shouldn't have to go on another quest, he was a child who probably should be with his parents regardless of their lifestyle. Right? This was just another thing that made her feel sick. Shippo thought of her as his mother. She'd known that and yet she hadn't even given him a second thought.

_"…just thought it would be good. That's all,"_ Inuyasha concluded lamely – looking utterly miserable and defeated, _"I should've talked with you first."_

_"This seems really important to you,"_ Kagome began slowly, _"I guess my question is why this is so important to you?"_

Inuyasha searched her face for a moment before sighing and setting his jaw.

_"I've never met a half-demon older than me,"_ he admitted, "_Not one. It could just be that I'm lucky but more likely it's because I learned to fight and I was good at it. Even Jineji is decades younger than me give or take from the smell of him. He's, what, around forty? A little less than that even. I'm a hundred and fifty. I've managed to survive when most half-demons die before they're even able to walk."_

_"And you want to help Shiori live as long as you have,"_ Kagome concluded and he averted his eyes.

_"I just…I died ya know?"_ he released a shaky sigh, _"I've been given another chance so shouldn't I try to make a difference? Do something good this time?"_

_"This time…"_ Kagome repeated sadly as she took a few steps closer until there was barely any room between them. The way he tensed and took a step back wasn't exactly encouraging, _"Inuyasha you don't need to prove anything. To me. To Shiori. To anyone."_

_"But I do," _he argued with no lack of bitterness as he glared at the ground,_ "I screwed up. In so many ways. None of this would've happened if…if I had just been literally anyone else."_

_"Look at me."_

_"Kagome I'm not…"_

_"I said look at me," _she ordered gently and resigned amber eyes met her gaze,_ "We don't have to decide tonight. Let's talk about this in the morning, huh?"_

Inuyasha shifted slightly and cleared his throat, _"We'll need to head to Koga's den. In the morning. If…if Shiori knows she's coming then tonight she can pack"_

_"Why Koga's den?" _Kagome blurted as her eyes widened in mild horror, _"That's random."_

_"Kikyo wanted everyone go there to meet up after I got done with you so that's where the others will be. Slipped my mind until now," _he explained,_ "And I've got to take care of some things. Give Miroku and Sango the opportunity to go to the slayers village if they want. Get…get Shippo."_

_"You want to bring…but I thought you said…"_

_"I just say shit okay? I'm not going to leave him," _Inuyasha groaned in frustration as he blushed_, "I've been the one raising him. He's pretty much my son and I don't…I don't want him to go live in the slayer's village. I know Sango and Miroku wouldn't do something but some of the villagers…some of them the way they stare I just…"_

_"Are we going to take out their jewel shards then?"_

_"Yes? No? Maybe…"_ Inuyasha huffed, _"That's something that can wait until morning. One thing at a time."_

_"So… we tell Shiori she can come with us,"_ Kagome concluded, _"And then tomorrow we'll go see Koga and go from there."_

Inuyasha smiled faintly.

_"Something like that,"_ he laughed as he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight embrace, _"I'll let Shiori know to start packing while you get ready for bed, alright? I won't be long."_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Kagome tried to stay calm as she waited - both begging him to come back before she chickened our and praying he took his sweet time. If one thing was clear, it was that Inuyasha was hurting and if there was one she hated most in this world, it was to see him in pain. This time was different though. This time his pain was her fault.

It seemed like forever before he came back and he looked slightly surprised but also touched that she'd waited for him.

"Sorry," he murmured sheepishly as he set Tessaiga down beside the futon and sat down, "She had a lot of questions. I thought you were asleep already."

"Ah so the scent powers _aren't_ perfect," Kagome teased and he laughed once and shook his head.

"I was distracted is all," he hummed as he leaned forward before pausing and pulling back with a faint blush. He was going to kiss her Kagome realized. And he was afraid she'd reject him because of what he'd said earlier. Because of their fight. Inuyasha gave her a slightly annoyed look before sighing and laying down.

"You smelled nervous. Didn't want to push my luck," he mumbled in reply as he rolled away from her and closed his eyes, "Whatever. We need to...to...what are you doing?"

He was referring, of course, to the way she was trying to force him to roll over onto his back. Like she actually had the physical strength to make him do anything. Laughing once, he complied with her weak attempts and smiled up at her.

"You're so stupid. You could've just said you wanted to cuddle," he chided gently as one arm reached up to beckon her closer before his smile faltered when she didn't do move and the scent of her nervousness spiked. Lowering his arm, he made to sit up but her hand pressing against his chest made him pause. Normally he could tell by scent alone what she was thinking but this scent...this scent had him endlessly confused. It was the scent she normally carried when she saw him. A scent that made his heart absolutely swell and melt at the same time. The scent of her love. But...but then the nervousness. Fear of rejection. She was trying to build up her courage but courage to do what exactly? Usually he knew Kagome's scent like he knew his own mind. Her every thought - or at least the gist - discernible by the subtle shifts alone but this...this was never a thought she'd had around him before. He'd done something that upset her. That had to be it. Those were only times her scent ever confused him before now.

"Whatever it is, I'm sorry," he blurted out before cringing when she gave him a strange look before a trembling hand suddenly began plucking at the ties of his clothes. Eyes widening in disbelief, his heart began fluttering as he watched her - torn between helping and absolutely terrified to make assumptions. Why would she be undressing him? Did he smell or something?

Given everything, the very last thing on his mind was her doing this for a good reason. She'd made it very clear she wasn't his wife. Very _painfully_ clear. Made it clear that while kissing was okay she had no interest in doing more at the moment. When she pulled the fabric back and exposed his chest, though, a fleeting hope suddenly burst into his mind. Especially she she encouraged him silently to take off his top entirely.

"I w-want to do something," she whispered as her fingertips brushed his stomach making the muscle beneath cringe under her touch. He found himself nodding his consent before whimpering when her fingertips began playing with the edge of his hakama. He wouldn't get his hopes up. Maybe she just...just wanted to give him a massage or something. Or this was just a build up to her kissing him senseless. That would be fine. Not great but not terrible. He liked kissing her. That was...

Her palm suddenly slide down the length of him and a soft curse escaped past his lips. Breathing heavily through his nose, it was actually _torture_ not to encourage her exploration and the small trickle of blood dribbling down his chin from the force he was biting his lip was proof enough of how tortuous this experience was. Back then, during the quest, he'd thought about asking her to do something like this. To touch him. But...but he'd worried that it would lead to more. Things neither of them were really ready to do at the time, thing they couldn't risk doing at the time but two years of watching and _listening_ to other couples he was more than a little ready to become as experienced in this area as possible.

But Kagome didn't want that right now, he stubbornly reminded himself. She didn't then and she didn't now. She'd made that much very..._oh god..._

Her hand plucked the ties loose and exposed him to her gaze.

The next few minutes were by far the most intimate thing he'd ever experienced. Inuyasha was relatively proud of himself for staying mostly silent as she worked him. What a difference someone else's hand made...

A few moments after that a tired sated grin was playing on his lips as she cleaned up and then lay down beside him with a blush on her cheeks. He kissed her gently a moment after that as a wave of contented exhaustion flowed through him. A part of him - a very _stupid_ part - wanted to ask her why she'd done this. Not that he was complaining or anything it just...it seemed random but luckily the rational part of his mind decided not to question it. Honestly, he'd take what he could get at this point. _Anything_ was better than nothing.

"I love you," he hummed as he awkwardly fumbled with his pants to cover himself before merely giving up and electing to pull her against him instead, "So, _so_ much."

"That's good," Kagome teased as she settled her head atop his shoulder before adding cryptically, "Although I think it goes without saying that most husbands love their wives."

Inuyasha's breath caught slightly at that but he tried to stomp down the hope that fluttered around his heart. She was joking. She didn't mean to say...she didn't think...

He couldn't get his hopes up. She'd made it perfectly clear how she felt about that. Where she stood on that issue.

Didn't she?

"Yeah," Inuyasha cleared his throat as he ran his claws through her hair and tried to slow his pounding heart through sheer will alone, "Guess it does."


	13. This is Fine Meme

**XXXXXXXX**

**

Fade to Black

XXXXXXXX

**

While he didn't mind her doing what she did last night, it was just one more thing giving him emotional whiplash. Whiplash which was the _last_ thing he needed right now. First she basically accuses him of not loving him, admits that she never thought they were married, very emphatically wants to take things slow, then they become what she calls girlfriend/boyfriend and now she was giving him sexual favors. Right after they fight. The cherry on top, of course, was that husband loving their wives comment. Bouncing his knee a little faster, Inuyasha tired to wrap his mind around all of it. Make sense out of all of it and in the process merely succeeded in giving himself a headache.

Really they should talk about what happened, right? That had been the main problem way back then. Lack of communication. On the other hand, though, he really didn't want to hear her explanation. She probably touched him out of _pity_ and he didn't want yet another pleasant memory tarnished by her mouth. In all honesty, he wanted her to do what she'd done _again_ and then some. Was that something he could ask her to do now? Something _he_ could initiate? Or was _that_something women did for their boyfriends in her era? Something that came with the territory and he just straight up didn't know? But then she made _that_ comment. Had she accepted that she _was_ his wife? Was she _mocking_ him? Was that _why_ she had done what she'd done? And why had she fought so hard against him adding someone when she added pretty much every one of their friends unilaterally? She hadn't consulted _him_ when she let Shippo or Miroku or Sango come along. Not that he had minded the additions per se and it'd worked out in the long run but why was it whenever he did something or thought something it was _wrong_? And with everything up in the air like it was, what the hell was he supposed to tell Kikyo? What was he supposed to tell his friends? What was he supposed to _do_ with his friends? Would removing their shards kill them or would it just be painful like it had been for him? Did he only survive because he was a half-demon? If so, did that mean Shippo would survive or would the kit end up disintegrating like so many demons before him? Did Kilala even have a shard or was she, in fact, just a cat who didn't give a shit what was going on? If they removed Kikyo's shard would she kill them all? If he broke things off with her would she kill them all? And to top this all off Kagome needed practical shoes and so he needed to figure that out at some point too. Letting out a shuddering breath, he continued trying to make sense of it all completely unaware that Kagome was now watching the emotions his thoughts were causing play out on his face.

It was obvious he was trying to think something through and most of what he was thinking was bad or confusing. There was the occasional look of pure longing. The occasional soft smile but mainly there were scowls, scrunching of brows, setting of jaws, chewing of cheeks, and eye rolls.

"What's wrong?" Kagome finally asked as his ears began drooping and his anger appeared to fade into depression. Shaking his head subtly, amber eyes flicked up to hers as a soft but strained smile appeared on his lips.

"Nothing. Just thinking," Inuyasha sighed heavily as he got to his feet, "You ready to go?"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," she countered softly as she gave him a slightly worried look, "Is it because of last night?"

Inuyasha set his jaw as he glanced at her face before averting his eyes and shrugging.

"I just thought…" Kagome began awkwardly as she played with her hands, "I thought it'd be a nice thing to do for you."

"I don't need your _pity_," Inuyasha snapped harshly as his sensitive nose picked up the undertones that confirmed what he already suspected, "I don't want you to do things like that if it doesn't _mean_ anything."

Sighing shakily, Kagome bit her lip to keep it from trembling and continued playing with her hands. Rubbing one hand over his face, Inuyasha scowled and shook his head.

"Look I appreciate what you did. I do," he tried to salvage the situation, "But you can't…you can't _do_ things like that, _say_things like that just to try and make me _feel_ better. All it does is confuse me and I just…I…I love you, ya know? So _doing_things like that, _saying_ things like that when you don't mean it…when you're _just_ doing it because you feel _bad_ for…"

"That _wasn't_ why I did it. I don't _pity_ you," Kagome finally groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "Or…or I guess I do. You just...it's like everything I've _ever_ done has just...I just _hurt_ you. I…I _pity_ you because you love me and I'm just…I'm _me_."

Anger dissipating, Inuyasha gaped slightly as his face fell into utter confusion.

"Come aga..."

"I mean, you loved me that _whole_ time and I was just too _stupid_ to realize it. I was too _stupid_ to realize that the jewel lies. That it _manipulates_. I just trusted it because I was _desperate_ and now…now I've managed to mess _everything_up. Just…just _everything_!"

Inuyasha's eyes widened in alarm as Kagome devolved into full blown hysterics. This…this was unfortunate. And making him _extremely_ confused truth be told. Her meltdown was sudden and shocking and overall weird. Whatever reaction he'd expected wasn't for her to say…what _was_ she saying exactly? Did Kagome think she wasn't good enough for _him_? That had to be what she was trying to say, right?. Which was, of course, an absolutely stupid thing to think but then again she could that stupid sometimes so…

How was it that every damn time he was upset she managed to one up him? To make it about her somehow? Whatever that was an argument for another day.

"That's not...okay it's a _little_ true but...Kagome just…"

Completely missing Inuyasha's lame attempts to get her to shut up a minute, Kagome took a shuddering breath to break her incoherent ramblings as tears began welling in her eyes, "Used to be when we fought it was over simple things. _Stupid_ things but this time...this time you were asking for something of because you...you..."

"Dammit just...," Inuyasha sighed heavily as he fought the urge to roll his eyes, "Kagome _all_ I meant was..."

"And I was telling you what you wanted was _stupid_ but then you said that," Kagome let out a choked sob, "And how many times have I told you something was stupid or called you a jerk when you were doing something you felt was important? That you _needed?_ And I was just too stupid to realize and..."

"Woman, just _shut_ up and let me…"

"So I tried to give you something _nice_ for once. Something…something I assumed you wanted," she continued like she didn't hear him as tears continued falling down her face, "But I managed to _fuck_ that up too."

Inuyasha's eyes widened in surprise at the language as he set his jaw and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do here. What _was_ he supposed to do here? She was too far gone to even realize he was talking. Too wrapped up in her own misery to even realize she was being ridiculous. Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha supposed this was a common thread in their relationship. Kagome making a bunch of stupid decisions or thinking she knew best when in reality she didn't know a damn thing and had it all wrong. Make things personal that weren't.

Letting out a shuddering sigh himself, Inuyasha did the only thing he could think to do and crossed the distance between them to give her the tightest embrace he could do without hurting her. The effect was the opposite of what he hoped as she immediately devolved into full blown sobs.

"Do you know how much I _wanted_ to be yours back then?" Kagome continued to cry, "How much I _loved_ you? And _all_ that time you _were_ mine and I just...I just _wasted_ it. I wasted it and then you _died_ and you were just _gone_ and then I _abandoned_ you and..."

"You didn't waste anything," Inuyasha comforted as he stroked her hair and rested his chin atop her head "And you didn't _abandon_ me. You did what you did to _save_ me. There's a difference."

When she merely whimpered in reply Inuyasha closed his eyes and sighed.

"How about this?" he began slowly, "Everything that happened between us before this moment doesn't matter."

Kagome tensed and Inuyasha smacked himself mentally. Of course she thought he meant...oh god dammit...

"You love me. I love you," he explained as he gently forced her cheek to remain against his chest, "That's all that matters going forward. No more of this bullshit. No more _assuming_ what we want. It's getting us nowhere."

Kagome sniffled as her arms slowly unfurled to wrap around him in return. Pressing his lips against her temple, Inuyasha closed his eyes and held her tighter.

"I need you and all _any_ of this is doing is driving you away," he whispered softly, "So just...just forget what happened. What _I_ thought. What _you_ thought. Just _be_ with me. That's enough."

Nodding, Kagome squeezed him as tightly as she could earning a happy albeit exasperated hum. It struck him as strange in that moment as he realized that the two years had made more of a difference than he'd thought. He was the mature one now. Him. The guy who _literally_ made every bad impulsive decision in the book. He had _always_ been older but now he _felt_ it. While Kagome hadn't changed all that much, he had grown emotionally. Had assimilated more and wasn't as wild as he had been. Less impulsive, and more aware of himself. More aware of what he wanted and had the maturity to see how to reach his goal. Kagome was still…more or less the same. Making stupid decisions and saying things she didn't mean because she thought that was what she was supposed to do. Not that the realization made him love her less mind you, it was just a strange one to have all things considered.

"I'm sorry," Kagome sniffled as she squeezed him tightly and Inuyasha sighed heavily.

"You don't need to apologize," he soothed as he stroked her hair, "Just be yourself. You don't need to push yourself. I know…I know I rushed you but…I'm not going to anymore. I just want you beside me."

"I do love you," Kagome whispered anxiously and Inuyasha sighed wearily before kissing her forehead.

"I know and that's enough."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Traveling with Shiori was…_awkward_ for lack of a better term. While the little bat girl could keep up on her own – courtesy of her ability to fly without wings at alarmingly fast speeds – this raised so many questions Kagome didn't even know where to start. With everything that had happened that morning and the evening prior, the details of InuYasha's interrogation had completely slipped her mind. What did he mean by aging and manifesting and…and just what did he mean? Were there things Inuyasha could do that he just conveniently left out?

"I couldn't run like this or use blades of blood until I was around thirteen or fourteen in human years," Inuyasha called back just loud enough for Kagome to hear from her place on his back, "I stopped growing as fast around the time I turned ten."

It was in that moment the miko knew she would never truly come to terms with his ability to read minds via scent. Maybe it was only her that he could read that easily or maybe he could…

"Its just you," Inuyasha replied _yet again_ to a question she was not going to ask loud, "Sango and Miroku...I _think_ I've got their emotions down but half the time I got no clue what they're thinking."

_'He didn't mention…'_

"I swear to god do not say what you wanted to say," Inuyasha huffed, "I've never been able to read her so why would now be any different?"

"That…"

"Explains a lot. _Yeah_," Inuyasha snorted derisively before his amber eyes flicked up to a happy looking teenager floating along beside them, "Shouldn't she have wings or something? Am I the only one who thinks that's weird?"

"I _do_ have wings," Shiori giggled as she shrugged her shoulders and dark violet wings suddenly bloomed out of thin air, "Just think they're ugly so I hide them with a barrier."

"Makes sense," Inuyasha replied uneasily as he quickly adjusted his run to a little further out of her wing span, "And that happened when you stopped aging?"

Shiori nodded as she closed her eyes and the wings began to fade out of view.

"So Inuyasha," Kagome hummed as she reached up and tweaked one ear making him miss a step, "Did these grow after you stopped aging?"

"No," Inuyasha groaned as he tried to tilt his head out of her grasp, "I was just more agile. Stronger. Got attacks."

"Better to be strong than have the ability to make barriers and gross unattractive wings," Shiori hummed, "Besides your sword is your most powerful weapon. Do you think I could try it sometime?"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at the bat girl before looking ahead. That was an odd thing to ask. A very odd thing. Touching someone else's weapon was like asking to share a bed. Things you just don't do. Not once had he even dared asked Sango if he could try her boomerang nor asked Miroku for his staff. Borrowing weapons was just…

"No."

"Sorry, sorry," Shiori hummed quietly – unperturbed by his harsh, blunt shut down, "Just curious."

"Maybe we can find you a weapon that works for you," Kagome offered as a half-way point and Shiori grinned.

"I'd like that," Shiori sighed as she closed her eyes and let the wind hit her face, "This is nice. I've never really been anywhere other than the ocean."

"Yeah well…" Inuyasha huffed as he tried to cope with the ever dawning knowledge he'd just let in another naïve and talkative teenage girl into his everyday life before tensing when something much worse suddenly came into view.

"Who is that?" Shiori asked curiously as she slowly landed on the ground, "He's tall for a human."

"He's not human," Inuyasha growled as she stopped as tucked Kagome in behind him, "And he shouldn't be here."

"The hell I shouldn't," an all too familiar voice boomed across the small meadow as the figure rolled his blue eyes and folded his arms across his chest, "This is my territory and you're the one two days late."


End file.
